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Show SEENdHEARD Main Street Tip to Motorists WATCH THE CAR BEHIND THE ONE IN FRONT OF YOU. "Twin beds are all very well," said the blushing bride to Val Mc-Arthur Mc-Arthur in the furniture department, depart-ment, "hut of course there is no use buying them until we get the twins." Some men aie born meek. Others get married. Advice to Doctors How to cure nervousness tell your patient it is a sign of advancing ad-vancing years. "At the end of the evening," said the Cynic, "my wife was so tired she could hardly keep her mouth open." FOR SALE A full-blooded cow giving 3 gallons milk, 2 tons of hay, a lot of chickens and a cook-stove. cook-stove. Adv. in Montesano, (Wash.) Vidette. Definitions Futile: Like trying to pick up a flea with a pair of boxing gloves. Truthful Advertising? Using out-of-town printed hand bills advertising goods you don't carry, don't expect to carry and wouldn't sell at the advertised price if you did. POEM Beneath this stone reste all thaf s left Of Motorist Harry White. He made a dandy left hand turn, But signaled to the right. The surprising thing about 1 kissing a girl with dignity, says Percy Whiffletree, is to find that she hasn't any. College student: "I would like to get a good book, please." Mrs. Roxie Romney, librarian: "Something light?" Co-ed: "It doesn't matter. I've got my car here." Puzzle Department Things we'll never understand: Why they call them "perinia-nent "perinia-nent waves." What a woman driver means when she holds out her hand. Why big robbers get short terms and little guys long ones. How sailors get Into those tight pants. How they get out of 'em. Yes, this is Mr. 'Arrison. Cawn't you understand? 'Arrison! Haitch, hay, two hars, a hi, a hess, a ho and a hen! Advice to Boys If your sister's boy friend doesn't does-n't treat you right, put quinine in her face powder. A girl recently was absent from home for a couple of days, and her mother was much concerned, but everything was all right when the lass returned with a Gideon Bible under her arm. Ldttle Jimmle hag to take the fourth grade over again on account of dyspepsia. He couldn't spell It. "Now," said the super-salesman, "this instrument turns green if the liquor is good red if it is bad." "Sorry, but I'm color blind. Got anything with a gong in it?" A lot of men, observes Dad Gummit, ask for a candid opinion, when what they want is candied opinion. Definition LOVE: That something which makes a young man think that a girl who is catty at home will be angelic after he marries her. Bishop Worthen says that every time he addresses an andlence and says something about "looking into in-to your bright and shining faces," about sixty powder puffs Immediately Immedi-ately get into action. POME Whatever troubles Adam had In fixing up the hay He never had to worry much About the A. A. A. |