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Show Seen a d Heard - Main Street There are two kinds of men, observes ob-serves Dad Gummit; the kind who do what their wives tell them and those who never marry. Percy Whiffletree plays a fail game of golf IF YOU WATCH HIM. Definit ion TRUTHFUL WOMAN: One who doesn't lie about anything except her age, her weight and her husband's hus-band's salary. I've brought these trouseris to be- reseated. I sit a lot, you know." Tailor: "Yes and I hope you brought the last bill to be receipted. receipt-ed. I've stood a lot." Golden Text The Bonds of Matrimony aren't worth much unless the interest is kept up . WANTED Reliable orchard man for steady job. Don't have more than two children if you can help it. Adv. in Hood River (Ore.) News. A good many people have learned learn-ed economy in the last few years . . . . the same way the boy learned learn-ed to iswim who was pushed off the dock. But, says the zoo keeper, the average life of a wolf is only ten years. Just let him stay on the porch. Definition STATESMAN: A man who can't solve the problems that wouldn't exist if it hadn't been (or statesmen. states-men. "This generation wouldn't appreciate ap-preciate it," notes Dad Gummit, "but the old fashioned way to keep the stomach in shape was to istufr it with pork and turnip greens, and place it between two plow handles for an afternoon." A LOT OF BUNK: A bed 14 feet long and seven feet wide. TRUTHFUL ADVERTISING? The out-of-town printed handbills hand-bills had a beautiful picture o blue midy-style pajamas at a certain cer-tain price, but the store didn't have blue pajamas, didn't have midy-style and they were selling what they did have at a different price than the out-of-town printed print-ed handbill gave. An office manager received a letter from the home office, as follows: fol-lows: "Effective Jan. 1, please lay off the young ladies in the accounting ac-counting department." And he still is uncertain as to just what was meant. |