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Show 4 A Line o' Type or Two "Fay ce que vouldras." By B. L. T. The Cowboy's Last Lament. "Lieutenant Governor rankev wants an aviator lo ciiase down ba.i lobos on his ranch at Lamy an or-'yoruinity for aviators avi-ators returned from overseas service." Santa Fe New Mexican. Goorthye. goodbye to the open range, Ooodbye to ti'.e times that wuz, For we drove out t lie In-di-yuns, And now they're drivin' us. The buffalo and antelope Are fading from tho rocks. Likewise the happy cowboy Is perishing in flocks. They'll put him in a mu-se-um, Alonir with the buffalo. And whether he grew before or since, Hardiy a child will know! The steel wire, the steel rails, Xo more the open ranije And now they're roundin' cattle up From buckiif airplanes! Goodbye, goodbye to the open range, Goodbye to the times that wuz, For we drove out the In-di-yuns, And now they're drivin' us. A. C. H. "Idealism never received such a blow as In this peace," says Mrs. Snowdon. But one blow more or less should make little impression on Idealism, who lone since must have realized that she picked the wrong planet for a home. j Have You a Little Kaiser in Your Home? (From the Syracuse Herald.) Mr. William Kaiser announces the engagement en-gagement of his daughter, Miss Iona Kaiser, Kai-ser, to James A. Magec of New York. The weddlns will take place in June. If mini has not completed its plans for familiarizing students with the Unglish language, may we suggest that a student caught using the locutions "equally as" and "one of those kind" be expelled? At Least Mini Might Take the Hint. Sir: A headline in the Sunday World's Greatest moves me to say that if I were the managing editor of a newspaper the first question I should ask applicants for the job of copy reader would be: "Have you read 'Frankenstein'?" CALCITROSUS. Yesterday we had the pleasure of greeting greet-ing our learned friend, Dr. Critlcus Flub-Dubbe. Flub-Dubbe. whose program study class will be remembered by aged readers of this column. col-umn. The Doctor is in excellent health and spirits. "No," he replied to our natural nat-ural inquiry, "I am not lecturing on. music this season, in spite of the need of illumination illumi-nation on the subject." We were frenetic fre-netic to know what Dr. Dubbe proposed to illumine. "I shall lecture," said he, "on The Lost Art of Conversation, and also on Dadaism. I am something of a Dada." "You Intrigue us," we said. "We apprehend how one may be, like Mr. Ring Dardner, a great deal of a Dada, - but to be something of a Dada . . ." "I was referring to the new aesthetic cult," returned re-turned the Doctor. "If Dadaism could be explained in a phrase I should be happy to enlighten you, but space is required. At another time . . ." "Please do," said we. And Dr. Dubbe smiled au revoir. The Heroic Hikers of Pittsburg. (From the Pittsburg Sun.) Owing to the unsettled street car traffic conditions the hike of the Pittsburg Health club arranged for Saturday has been postponed. Roll on. thou deep and dark blue ocean", roll, as the poet so- eloquently said. Thou'rt. not so easily "mastered" as the air,. . . Problem of Conduct. Sir: John Q. Van Dyke meets at church the rich Mrs. Marbury, who greets him with: "When did you get back from the army?" As a matter of fact, Van Dyke has never been in service, but in order not to embarrass Mrs. Marbury he replies: re-plies: "Oh, a few weeks ago." Just then Mrs Marbury's beautiful niece, Audrey, whom Van Dyke wishes to cultivate, comes along, and after the introduction Audrey exclaims: "So you are one of the brave and magnificent heroes! I admire soldiers above all other men. What branch of the service were you in?" What should Van Dyke reply? J. C. F. John's replv would depend on his mental alertness. As onlv'a bold stroke can save him, he might reply: "Me? Oh. I was one of the 'Ladies from hell.' What a cold May we are having!" Home Coming. Home! And all the old familiar things: The little clock, his desk, the brown guitar! gui-tar! His fingers idly fret its loosened strings. Queer old familiar things! How good thev are! After the long wet months in field and wood, And last, today's parade in a drizzle of rain Beneath the coldly flapping flags, how good The lisoing of the fire and home again-The again-The while his wife moves softly through the room With skirts that give a little silken stir. It seems to him all he has known of gloom Must - fade in one night spent at home with her. And then she smiles at him half coax- Anfl asks 'him please to take her out to tea. M. P. M. "You know, doctor," remarked the latest lat-est Chicago man to be shot up by his wife, "a womyi can't stand as much nagging as a man, and- I guess I was a little too severe with her." When you come to think it over she can't. Eet a Hat Grace is Thinking of Getting Married. (From the Titonka Topic.) ' A shower was given Miss Grace Cruik-fihank Cruik-fihank Saturday evening at the home of Mr and Mrs. Rov P.urtlong by a number of her friends. We did not learn what kind of a shower was given, but we presume it was one of those kind which naturally precede a June wedding, as it were; It might have been a linen shower, a silver shower, or gold shower, or it might have been a miscellaneous shower but the point that we want to get at is that it is not verv far distant when she 'will become a bride. When teachers et al' go away to learn domestic science In ali its branches at universities, it is sixteen six-teen to one that Cupid is guiding her thoughts. Box cars are painted "dirty red" because be-cause enllrthtens C. S.. "iron oxide is an inert 'pitrment of great covering capacity and very durable." Or, as they perhaps say in paint circles, it's a great coverer arid a swell las tor. Not Harpooning the Eev. (From the Wellman, la., Advance.) The baccalaureate sermon so-called by the Kev. Barker, delivered to tile uradu-atiliK uradu-atiliK class Sunday evening, Hay 11, was in tiiree ways peculiar. The ignorance of B. B. Is rebuked by a number of readers, who assure us that Steamboat Shrines, Colo., really lias sprintrs. the t'hugglng of which gives them their name. Considering the Weather, It is Remarkable Remark-able How Well the Gardens are Doing. (From the Sat. Kve. Post.) The ruin d.-s .uid.-il iu sheets anil spnur-eil spnur-eil tlnoueh a ripr-..l s.snu in tse ..novas just .iverliisel and ran in a slr.Miii ilnwn the li.iek 01 his ncek and chilled his ardor |
