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Show , MAYBE IT'S THE HUMIDITY. When clays grow hot and brains grow dul'l, And baseball dope is slim, The baseball writers fill their space By trading Heine Zim. After a thorough investigation we have found that the Great Zim (which is Henry Zimmerman's maiden name) has beeii sold, traded and exchanged 1,247,643 separate and distinct times. WANT AD. WILL EXCHANGE One almost able-bodied able-bodied electric fan for a snow storm. Weather has caused the postponement of forty-two games in the Central league this season, but we don't think the fans missed much. A fight between Willard and Fulton would be interesting in a sort of way. We were handed a thrill one morning when we saw two motor trucks bump. YEARNING. I dote on a heavyweight fight. Where they stall and they clinch and thev swing. It would fill my fond soul with delight Were I seventeen miles from the ring. Watching the leaders in the. American Ameri-can league is much like watching an automobile race. Here he comes, there lie goes. "The team that beats the Phils.'" quotne George oiamngs, - win nuian first." It might be added that the team that doesn't .beat the Keds will finish ninth. Blessiugs on the man who invented ice. Knt we cannot say the same for the man who sells it. WE ARE NO LONGER AN ORPHAN. They may fight on the red fields of Europe; It doesn 't disturb me at all. And I am not concerned if Galloffski is burned, And if Hoosit and Whatshisname fall. I don 't care a whoop if the Russians Make sausage meat out of the Tents, And if England is licked and the Frenchman is lucked I tion't care a couple of hoots. The Deutschland may cross the gray ocean, It causes no pleasure nor pain. I don't care, a groat if they sink or they float, For the missus is with me again. Foolish Question No. 1,000,001 Comrade wife telegrammed us from Buffalo asking if we had saved any money during her absence. Wo understand that an expert accountant ac-countant is not required to keep track of all the games won by the Athletics. It ill behooves a humane person, however, how-ever, to make sport, of the Athletics. As a famous sea captain in the Spnish-Ameriean Spnish-Ameriean war said, "Don't cheer boys! The poor devils are dying! " Up to date nooony nas pur luhm uie theory that Mack 's team is afflicted with ' infantile paralysis. It is not necessary to go swimming in order to be bitten by a shark. Just try fo buy a pair of tickets to a popular popu-lar show. |