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Show tat ,s &h 2about: Middle Age and Painles Dentistry. CULVER CITY. Especially Especial-ly to those nearing middle age the age when you begin to exchange your emotions for symptoms it's gratifying to hear a New York scientist has hit on a formula for really painless dentisty. If he's right, the operation will only begin to hurt when you get the bill. Time was when you could hang onto your stately ruins until there was English Ivy growing on them. Nowadays, no matter what alls you, they X-ray X-ray your teeth, which Is a mistake to begin with, be- Irvin S. Cobb. cause.. 1 never yet saw an X-ray photograph pho-tograph that was flattering. And the next thing you know, you've a taste in your mouth like a druggist's drug-gist's dlshrag; and your face looks like an old-fashioned buckskin purse, with the draw-string coming com-ing undone; and, on the inside, fe-ls as empty as a haunted house. Still, getting the upper plate from a mail order house has its compensations. com-pensations. Hot soup no longer makes blisters in the palate. Just a slight smell of burning rubber that's all. A True Maker of Melodies. THEY gave a dinner here to the son of desperately poor immigrants, immi-grants, a modest, kindly little man who started life as a singing waiter in a Bowery bar-room. The dinner celebrated his silver jubilee as a maker of melodies. It has been Just 25 years since he set the toes of the nation to tingling with "Alexander's "Al-exander's Ragtime Band." I can think of an occasional popular pop-ular composer, who might be defined de-fined as a person who has a good memory and hopes no one else has; just as now and then but this is a trade secret you strike a writer writ-er who is getting by not because he Is such a good writer, but because he has been such a close reader. But for Irving Berlin, It may be said that his lyrics are his own and his airs are his own and his ideas are his own. Maybe that's why his tuneful output is so good it reflects re-flects the spirit of an authentic creator, a genuine minstrel bard. The Great Republican Hope. I NEVER thought the stocks that licked the desert and the Apaches Apa-ches would be slackers, but neither in Arizona nor in New Mexico can I find trace of an anesthetic Presidential Presi-dential boom for any home-grown statesman. On the other hand, the sheep crop is reported good. Maybe It's just as well. Already there has been more than one fa-, vorite son boom that reminded me of a new trunk store on a side street you know, the kind that always opens with a grand closing-out sale. Republicans here speak highly of Governor Landon of Kansas. Still, you never can tell. If you can believe be-lieve whai t lie Sunday papers print when the editors can't think of anything any-thing else, tragedy always followed owning the Hope diamond or digging dig-ging Into King Tut's tomb. But being indorsed for office by W. R. Hearst is pretty fatal, too, seems to me. A New Kind of Inflation. WHEN one of the New Deal groups the President's consumers' con-sumers' council announced the other day that Americans have larger hips than formerly, I just said : "Well, I'm glad things are expanding. There were several years when nothing I owned showed a tendency to go up except my blood pressure, and if hips are spreading. It merely means wider detours for a fellow when dancing danc-ing on a crowded floor. But now another White House pet, the Works Progress administration, adminis-tration, gives a real thrill by prom-sing prom-sing to expose spinach, proving there are plenty of vegetables Just as good for the diet, that taste like something and not like spinach. Maybe they'll yet find a use for spinach by applying It externally. England'. New King. TN THE matter of their ruling monarchs, the English are luckier luck-ier than some. The crown is never nev-er tarnished nor the people ever shamed, for all their kings are gentlemen gen-tlemen and all their queens are queens. That's why, I think, Brit aln will keep her royal line, whll we keep our flag, which ought to be quite a long spell, In case any communistic person should ask you. ' So, to the witty and engaging youngish gentleman, who picks up the mantle that slipped from the tired shoulders of a kindly and gracious gra-cious elderly gentleman, we over here offer our best wishes. We know Your Majesty Invariably will ! show good taste, and whilst you may ', not always do the right thing that , would be asking too much of any man we're dead sure you'll always al-ways say It. IRVIN S. COBB. North Amerlcnn Newspaper AJlluejs, Inc. WNTJ SarvLoe. |