OCR Text |
Show But what use would this fair maid be In real life as a wife If. she Could not prepare a cup of tea. Sweep up or fry a steak? Chicago News. A Terrible Choice. "WTiat's a dilemma?" asked one small boy. "Well." replied the other, "It's something like this: If your father says he'll punish you If you don't let vour mother cut your hair, that's a dilemma." Washington Star. Homesick. Gee, SI, but I wuz homesick when I went to th' city!" ,-Gosh! Was yer? How, homesick?" "Well. I stood on th' corner till I seen a car marked 'To the 13am' and by gum, I took it." This Is Very English. Sarcastic American (discus sins Strauss' "Salome") But I suppose to you one should speak of Sinjun the Rapt In. M1ns St. Jr.hn (coldly) I know nothing alout the nonconformist branch of the family. London Bystander. leave the store without solllnp her i something:? j Clerk She wanted a parasol that would cover her hat Woman's Houi Companion. First Aid. .Husband I nut Hawkins lodar and h.- was very gloomy told mo ho wns perfectly willing to die Wife Oh. Johu! Why didn't von ask him here to Thanksgiving din-tht? din-tht? Harper's Unzar. JUST FOR FUN Tho Uplift In Plunkville. "How about this barefoot act you'vo booked for the op'ry-houso? Some of the lending cltUeiiu are a littlo wurrkd about It." "We have suppressed all the objectionable ob-jectionable features." "That's Just it Wo were afeerd you would." Kansas City Journal. Consideration. "This necot'nt of yours has 1een running three years. I shall add 10 ;i' - -i c.r v"ir." "But, my dear sir. have you no con- j clderatlon for yourself? It would dis- I trcKH you unduly to loso tho Interest, I too " KxchanRO. Her Unpjratlfled Want. Irrltal lv I'm,retor of Dry Comh I Store Why clltl you let that lady The Debt of Art. "The prof.ssor says that music owes a great deal to Rossini." paid the young woman "What's Rossini?" "That." replied Mr. Cumrox "la prolvfi.iy Italian for 'rosin.' " -Washington .Star. Art and Real Life. Venus Is n charming maid hon vlewc.-il for art's own sake |