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Show WIT AND WISDOM. Good Intentions do not always do good. "Drink," said Robert Edson, beckoning beck-oning to the malter, "Is a great evil. Both my father confessor and my barber agree on that. "The father went in the other, day to get a shave. He observed that the barber was suffering from a recent celebration but decided to take a chance. In a few moments tho barber's bar-ber's razor had nicked the father's cheek. " 'There, Pat, you have cut me," said the priest as he raised his hand and caressed the wound. "'That shows you,' continued tho priest, in a tone of censure, 'what the use of liquor will do.' " 'Yls, r rlv'rance,' replied the barber humbly: 'It makes the skin tinder.' " July Young's Magazlue. Wilton Lackaye loves to speculato on the "mtght bes." "If It Is true, as reported," he said thoughtfully, "that a celebrated French physician bus discovered on elixir that will prolong life indefinitely, indefinite-ly, what strange changes are bound io come about in consequence. Who, for lnstnce, will respect a gTay beard when he 13 tho nearer death than tho rest of us, and with his experience In matters terrestrial, is probably getting get-ting more fun out of life? Headlines In our newspapers will read:' A youth of sixty elopes with a girl of seventeen; seven-teen; the happy lover was a close fiiend of the lady's grandfather, and was once married to her godmother.' Or again: Another carload of babies was dumped in the bay this morning; something will have to be done to overcome these pests.' And what will become of all our churches and rtllgious bodies? When we no longer lear death we will no longer have reason to fear what may come after. Likewise, since It will be well nigh Impossible, according to common par lanc6, for a man to go to Hell,' sin will be wiped out at tho same time. What a happy world! And yet It will have its drawbacks If our fathers are Io go on living forever, how are we going to inherit their property? And If one can no longer drink one's Belf to death in consequence, conse-quence, what Is tho use of being jilted? Then suppose .lohu D. Rockefeller Rocke-feller kept on living indefinitely? Why, he would own tho world and be bribing Venus inside of fifty years. When it Is Impossible for a man to leave his property behind him, ho should no longer be allowed to accumulate ac-cumulate it. But if John were not allowed al-lowed to accumulate, beyond doubt it would be the killing of him in spite of tho elixir. Inly Young's Magazine. |