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Show JUST FOR FUN A Bright Idea. The head of a certain manufacturing manufactur-ing cencern Is an old gent'eman who built up his business from nothing bv his dogged and persistent toll, and who has never felt that he could sparo tho time for a vacation. Not long ago, however, he decided that he was getting along in years, and that he was entitled to a rest. Calling his son Into the library, be said: "Tom, I've worked pretty hard for quite a while now and have done very well, so I have decided to retire and turn the business over to you. What do you say?" The young man pondered the situation situ-ation gravely. Then a bright Idea seemed to strike him. "I say. dad." he suggested, "how would it do for you to work a few years longer and then the two of us retire together?" London Tit-Bits. Pat and His Bike. A gentleman who had purchased a new bicycle gave his old ono to an Irishman. "You'll find the wheel usof.ul wheu you are In a hurry," eald tho gentleman gentle-man to PaL "Ol trust it will be a long tolme till Ol can rid It," said the Irishy man. i "Why, have you ever tried?" asked tho gentleman ; "Ol hov," was the gloomy reply. 1 "A frlnd lint me his. Ol had It three or four weeks, practlcln" day an" noight, an' nlvor got so Ol could balance bal-ance raesllf shtandln' srhtill, let alone mide lt."-Llpplncotfs Magazine. : Invisible. I First Snburbanite How's your garden, gar-den, old man? Second Suburbanite It's simply out f elghL j FlrFt Suburbanite That's good. Second Suburbanite It's aJiythln; but good. The grass and weeds aro a foot high all over 1L Chicago N'ews. i Dead Place. It was the dullest resort on tho lalce. "The moon Is dead," said the romantic ro-mantic girl as they strolled along tho beach. "Xo wonder." responded her chum, "If it has been hanplng around here long." Chicago News. j Handicapped. Howell I seo that the pnper says tli at the Treasury Department announces an-nounces that by washing paper money it will last twice as long. pOWpYes, but what Is a poor devil to do while his money Is In the laundry, New York Press. j Taking Precautions. I A younc; "briefless" was poramhulat- 1 Inp the courts with an air of scarcely scarce-ly being able to find time io do anythingwhen any-thingwhen his boy tracked hlra down In one of the corridors. "Oh, sir!" said the boy, "there Is a man at our of flee with a brief, fclr." "What. 'a brief! tireat heavens!" And the young fellow began to run Ihrouch the passages as fast as he could for fear the prey should escape him. "Stop, sir, stop!" cried the boy, who could scarcely keep pace. "You need not hurry, sir; I've locked him in!" M. A. P. Sacrafices. "Have vou over made any sacrifices sacri-fices for your country?" 'Of rourso I have," replied Senator Sena-tor Sorghum "Why, I go out every year and make speeches free of charge Instead of turning my intellectual intel-lectual productions over to a lecture manacer or a publisher." Washington Washing-ton Star. ' Just Like a Girl, "Her cooking-school habUs have made a nuisance of her." "How, now?" "She always wants mo to taste the gasoline when the automobile Isn't working right." Kanxas City Journal. |