| OCR Text |
Show VISITING IN TOWN AND COUNTRY Forms and Usages to be Observed to carry away soiled silver and china and bring a fresh supply. 2. Dessertspoons Dessert-spoons may be used for ices, although forks are preferred for almost all desserts, des-serts, except soft desserts, viz.: custards, jellies, preserves, or any dessert served with cream. 3 After-dinner coffee is always hot and is served in summer as well as at other seasons. 4. Oysters on the shell are supposed to be in season from September to April, inclusively. They arc served as .1 first course, at dinner. din-ner. 5. Sherry and sauterne arc sufficient suffi-cient wines for an informal dinner. 6. A siher dish -with growing ferns may be used as a centerpiece on one's dining table, unless flowers are obtainable, or a di.-h of silver, glass, or china containing contain-ing fruit, may be used. V.'lll and Shall The correct and incorrect use of "will" and "shall" may be remembered if v0u understand that will refers to the exercise exer-cise of the will; shall implies obligation or owing. Thus, 3011 should say, "What shall I do?" not "Wh.it will I do?" Misuse of words is hown in the expres sion, "The house is on Fifth Avenue." The proper phrase is, "in Fifth Avenue." It is correct to say, ".S7it" is quite deaf," not, "She is hard of hearing." "She has 110 control over her children," not, "of her children." "She has red kair," not, "she is red-headed." The FrlTileses of Mourning It is not customary for a person in deep mourning to go to a wedding, unless un-less it is the marriage of a very near relative, or very intimate friend. In that case one might go and would lighten the mourning a little for the occasion, not wearing crape trimmings, and of course leaving off a veil. Persons in mourning arc always invited to general affairs, viz.: weddings, teas, large or general receptions, because it is an act of courtesy in those who send out general gen-eral invitations to remember all friends: but they arc not under obligation to attend. at-tend. Their mourning is supposed to be a sign that they have retired trom social life for a certain period, and they have rights and privileges which are not accorded ac-corded to others. THERE are many meanings of the term visiting, and the subject sub-ject might be divided in scv-cral scv-cral parts and still admit of subdivisions. Complications and problems prob-lems arc constantly arising in the ever-thanging ever-thanging conditions of modern life, specially in small towns and country ieighborhoods. It may be well to discuss first the prdinary and conventional etiquette hich applies to making calls on one's triends or on new acquaintances; next, I few rules about general visiting, both in paying and receiving calls, and finallv e etiquette to be observed in visits pade to friends in summer-time, over tainday, or for a few days or a week. laklnc Calls Taking first the subject of making a ran, it ls understood that the rule" of caving ones card applies under all gen-ral gen-ral circumstances, except in making m-ormnl m-ormnl calls on an intimate friend, where tt would be unnecessary lo leave cards n repeated visits. In small places many persons seem to TTiaginc that to leave one's visiting card is an allocution, or that it expresses rH-,!-7"-al 1,mo1n.tion! when extreme cordiality is the object of one's visit. It should hc remembered that .1 card renrc-E"? renrc-E"? W"cr: ,il one s street l U5?,' .'l r,cm,"l a hostess that o,lc the obvious thing and ask if Mrs." So-and-So 13 at home. If a very young member of the family comes to the door a visitor may sav simply, "Is your mother at. home?" If admitted, one would give one's name and lay one's card on the hall tsble or any convenient place If not admitted one would say, "Please say that Mrs. Blank called," and one would not leave a card under these exceptional circumstances. circum-stances. VTolcomini; the New Arrival An aspect about calling which troubles some persons i? when an older resident, a stranger, calls on a new-comer in a town. This custom prevails in small places, although not in cities, unless there arc friends in common and one ha been asked by a friend lo call' on .1 new resident. The proper thing to do when calling 011 a stranger is to send up one's card by a servant, but here the difficulty sometimes may be that servants are out or the only servant in the bouse may be busily engaged, and the hdy on whom one is calling is obliged to open the door herself. In that case the visitor must introduce 5,.. Sl4?p,y by sa''"ff. "I a'" Mrs. blank. The hostess should receive her cordially, shaking hands immediately and allowing the visitor to precede her when entering the narlor. U'l if n I Via guest, specifying the time of the visit and giving exact dates, from Saturday to Monday. or from Wednesday to Saturday, Sat-urday, or for a week, as the case may be, mentioning the train by which the guest shall arrive. A reply must be prompt and definite and the dates must be repeated It is unpardonable to say, "I will come if I can." This doubtful reply would disturb dis-turb all possible plans of a hostess. Serious misunderstandings may arise unless these points are observed. When a young man is invited to stay at a house the invitation is sent invariably invari-ably by the mother, never by a daughter. A guest's duty is to be agreeable, tactful, tact-ful, good-natured, to fall in withany plan of action or amusement proposed; to know when to keep out of the way, to go lo one's room and read or write: to remember that a hostess docs not want a guest always with her. Other point, to be observed arc never to pluck (lowers in the grounds; never to injure books; to return books to their places; never to dric a horse too far if a horse is placed at a guest's disposal: to remember to give a fee to the maid who cared for one's room. Above all, it is obligatory after one's departure 10 write a note to one's hostess telling her of the pleasure of the visit. VlBltlnr Cards One's visiting card is engraved from a plate, not printed and n?ver written. Script is in good taste. The full name with a prefix is used Miss Mary Emily Johnson. A married woman has her husband's full name on her card and a widow is cnlitled to the same privilege, thus: Mrs. Robert Henry Mason, Household Silver As a general rule, every one when beginning housekeeping is supposed to have a certain amount of silver for general gen-eral use. as well as additional silver for occasional use. One would require in small silver one dozen large forks, one dozen small forks, one dozen tablespoons, table-spoons, one dozen dessertspoons, one or two dozen teaspoons, one dozen coffee-spoons. coffee-spoons. The reason more teaspoons are needed is brcausc if one were having an afternoon tea it is necessary to have plenty of teasnoons. and even with the use of coffeespoons you would have but three dozen spoons, an insufficient supply tor a number of guests. Of course, a servant must be in attendance at a tea iorms her of one's visit Ai, 1 important thing to be understood thai a card ,s never given to the per-lon per-lon on whom oc ,s calling. 9llc j a ms take would mark r,nc j" 3.11 f the first principles of good manners UavLnj Cards The usual rule in making a call is to . rvc ones card to the servant who opens the door, or one mav give one'" 1 ne Mall table in pasMn" In -1 ta t i,oSchoM. .i,bo, visitor is leaving, the hostess accompanies accom-panies her to the door. If other visitors are present, a hostess must not leave them, but must permit the departing visitor to go out alone to the hall. If a man calls and a hostess is obliged. f'r lack of servants, to open the door, she precedes him in entering the parlor. Am .In must leave his hat. overcoat and stick m the hall. A woman must not accompany a man to ihc hall when he is leaving. Those who live in suburban places should not expect friends from a city to go to the country to make a call. SumraVr Visiting Voting friends in summer requires caret ul knowledge of etiquette. A hostess should write a note inviting a |
