| OCR Text |
Show Mr. Good Fellow on a"CoEd" Picnic odds-on end of every bet nnd tho pick nnd choice of every pie tbat lazy, worthless, nclfl-Mi man has a finger In. I wanted to tell her to swlog on to ono of those blamed baskets -and earn a little of tbe edibles she was going to eat therefrom, but my fect got cold os lco every time I approached the hurdle, though tbe rest of me was an Imitation Turkish bath. "But that was Just tho beginning of the Joyful occasion. Bo. Tbls Miss Brown seemed to have It all fixed for me. Under her martial-law directions I helped unpack un-pack tho baskets and set the table on the greensward, climbed up a 20-foot embankment embank-ment after wild flowers to grace tho festive board, squeezed tbe lemons, totd two buckets of water from the crystal spring across n sun-baked, sandy field nud then walked about 20.000,000 miles rounding round-ing up tbe kids when 6upper was 'reudy. I couldn't smoke during all tbls because I might drop some of the ashes Into the lemonade, ond I couldn't toke off my coat, and most the tlmo I bad both hands full and couldn't even knock tantalizing files off tbe end of my nose. Ye ah I Flue party ! "After supper, was I allowed to sit la penc for n few moments and enjoy my cigar? Nix ! I must tell stories ond answer every pbool question every last ono of these half-dozen pbool women asked me. I was the guet of tbe occasion, oc-casion, you see. nnd I was forced Into the limelight, wllly-nllly. The other men were married hence they dldn t count. Later. I bad mr nro aud my nrtlstlc eye literally Jammed Into the end of tbe setting set-ting sun and was inveigled Into discoursing discours-ing critically upon Its beauties. "Uell. to cut the unpleosant narrative short and bit only the high places, when we finally rot Into town I bad to escort that blamed Brown female right up her suffrtte stronghold. Two others Ml upon me there and tore me Imb from limb I escaped to my own little bunk aboot midnight Tbla Satorday Im going to tbs basebaJII" r TL& EVER cgaln for mine!" exclaimed pfJMr. A. Good Fellow, as he came luto jtfthe office late on a Monday rooro-y rooro-y log. "No more of this picnic stunt lo my family at least oot when it's a co-ed affair! Talk about your lemons and tjuloces, etc I certainly drew a peach basket bnt full of them that time! "What was It? Ob, yea; to be sure, you dtr't know. Yon sec, it happened tbls v ay. Jones says to roe lust' Saturday morning, says he: "Come on, A. Good nnd Join us In n merry little picnic Into tbe lui-tlc wilds tbls afternoon. My family and several of my wife's sisters and fcmlth's family ond several of his aunts otd the kids aro nil going to hike out lDto the truly rural and browse around oo the greensward for a while. You're tired ond the gambol will do you good. No flxln's ood no trlmraln's Just a genuine, unadulterated unadul-terated back-to-nature excursion, with nothing to do but mosey arouod and cat your till of tbCtfood things In tbe full iur-b baskets." "Well, I fell for It all right co-ed end end alb So I met tho Jolly picnickers at tbu appointed placo to board the trolley car ut precisely the correct boor. Jodcj was tbere ond bis wife ond tbe little Jonese. Then two of Jones' wife's sisters sis-ters (showed up tugging nway at another Hg lunch basket. Then along came Smith ood his responsibilities. One of his aunts wns on time nod the other kept ns wnlt-iDg wnlt-iDg fully 20 minutes. At tbo last minute, lr seems, Mrs. Smith had taken It upon herself to ask n Miss Brown to throw In ber lot with us Just to keep me company, com-pany, understand! Now wusn t that kind of Mrs, Smith? "We bad Uoally managed to hypnotize a inotormtn loto stopping his car for tho formidable array und were almost all stoard when Mrs. Jones suddenly called out; 'Where's Willie?' Where was Willie? Joot-a called forward to Mrs. Smith to ask If khe bad him with ber brood. Nothing doing. Mrs. Smith then besought one of the maiden ladle's to produce tbo missing kid. Miss Brown turned on mo and de-rmnded de-rmnded tbat I bring him forth. Every-bedy Every-bedy looked for Willie while the conductor conduc-tor stood on tbe ruunlng-boord wllb his band on tbe bell-rope cussing and swear-lug swear-lug under his breath. Sort of a button-button-whoVgot-the-button affair, you see. " 'AH aboard !' yelled tbe heartless conductor, con-ductor, 'either get on or get offl' Not being able to Und Willie we sLarted to Set off when suddenly the little er-cr-n chorub piped up from the rear platform tbat bo wos on safe and sound. So we climbed aboard again and were off. "Talie It from me, Bo, It was a tvll mile from the place wbcro we got off the trolley car to the Joyful picnic grounds "d 1 lugged along two of tbe heftiest lunch baskets In tbe collection, while the aforesaid Miss Brown tripped lightly beside be-side mo and insisted that woman's hvy burden In life not only entitles her to tho ballot but to the cream off tho milk, ine |
