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Show I Dorothy Dix Talks j HOW TO MANAGE A WIFE j By DOKOT1IY DIX, the World's Highest Paid Woroan Writer The optimlstle theory that it Is the t osteal thing in the world to manage a wife, and a job tha any man could do with one hand tied behind him, is one of the little confidence games with which Cupid takes men in, and lures them into matrimony. Before marriage every man ha a life sized portrait of himself as the Head of the House, dominating a sweet domestic scene in which his wife burns incense ai his feet, and meekly does his bidding After marriage the same man generally gener-ally contemplates with wonder a small tin type of a man who pulls off his shoes In the front hall when he comes home late at night and tip toes in to ke ; from waking up a little two by four woman of whom he is deadly afraid. Hon--- or, m spite of the c;ud fate of others hope tjii continues to triumph over experience, and every man believes thai he is Roing to be the one man wiin jias a wjf w)10 cats out ol his hand. Undoubtedly it la S difficult task to manage a wife, but it (?u be done 'f a man goes about it in the right way. There are. of course, certain general principles Oi procedure that apply to all women The most important of these is never to argue a point with one. When it comes to a talk Ins contest no man is a match for a woman. He lacks speed and staying powers, and she will inevitably talk him to a standstill Besides, whenever a woman sees thai th argument is going against her she takes refuge in tears, which are a bit oi unanswerable logic that 1 invariably gives the decision In hei fuvor The husband who discusses with his wife beforehand the thing that he wishes to do ends up by doing hpr way instead of his own But women are never prepared for swift action without lalk. and therefore the husband hus-band who does things and tells his wife about what he h;i done after it la accomplished, i? masteY of the situ :i I inn U It A olf,rc I hi. . 1 r. vi c a I i - clilr. wheresoever he will. The next tip about how lo manage n wife is always io remember that the salvo spreader is mightlei than Ihe hammer m dealing with women If you knock your wife's faults you have to pay her for the wounds to her feelings If you give her the glar hand fhe will joyfully m.ke a doormat of herself for you to walk upon. Therefore, if you wan' your wife to possess a virtue pretend that she ha it and she would get busy acquiring It. Petruchio, who was the greatest wife tamed on record, used these taciics In mapping out his plans to manage the shrewish Katherine. he said, "Say that she rails, why. then. I'll tell her plain she sings as sweetly as a nightingale" The most subtle scheme ever for managing a woman was suggested in this. It is an appeal ap-peal 10 her vanity that no wife can i ci-t. for every woman instinctively tries to live tip to her husband s opinion opin-ion of her. The same argument still holds good. Blame a woman with extravagance, and she will go down and buy an imported im-ported frock lo soothe her Inceruted feelings. Praise up her thrift and she will be so anxious io sae she will squeeze every nickel Complain of your wife's bad house keeping and she will say she has no domestic tastes, and continue to give you overdone meat and underdone bread Obsere that a meal isn't up to her usual standard of superlative COOKery, and she Will break her neck trying to make herself the understudy of a French chef The ihird tip on hov to manage a wife is to get oil" on the right foot in matrimony. There is nothing like-making like-making the proper start, and this is where most men make a fatal mistake mis-take They are so much in love when, they marry that they are willing for' their beauteous young brides to dictate to them about everything, and by the time they gel over this, and want to climb up on the familv pedestal and be th domestic law giver, they find out that their wives have already Camped upon thai exalted position and refuse to be- ousted If a man desires to manage his wife he must start at the altar. Ih he lets her pick out the route of their bridal trip he may confidently coun' on having to walk behind her during the balance of their march through me. Tlv final lip about how to manage a wife Is a brutal, but human one. and that Is if there Is to be any storm making in itv household, be the storm maker yourself in most households there is the one who kisses and the one who is kissed; the one who has nerve and ways to be considered, and the one who driers to the nerves and the wins; the one who placates and the one who deigns to be placated ueai your wne t ihese emoluments. If there is any fault finding to be done usurp the prerogative for your sole behoof and benefit. Demand consideration foi yourself and your .faults instead of apologizing for them. GiVe your wife so much work to do to keep you in good humor, with your fur rubbed the right way, that she'll never have lime to uotice your short I comings If you will observe you will see that it is ihe man who blusters and curses, and swears, and raises Cain generally who has his household walking walk-ing on tiptoe for fear of rousinng him, and it is the husband who nags ami frets who gets the most consideration. considera-tion. Of course this is rank selfishness, but then nobody but a selfish brute would want to manage his wife, anyway. any-way. Dorothy Dix's articles appear regu-laiy regu-laiy cmt;, Monda, Wrdmsd.n and Friday. |