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Show 'yhi.phmpr J? IMAGINARY CONVERSATIONS Honorable Japanese and Honorable Ancestor Jap Honorable ancestor, wha goes on? Ancestor It's got me puzzled, too. Jap I always understood we were a master race. Ancestor So did I. Could we both be wrong? Jap That's what I was wondering! wonder-ing! Ancestor Will honorable descendant descend-ant kindly give complete picture to honorable ancestor? Jap Don't be nervous. Ancestor If you can be nervous why can't I? Jap I am not nervous. Ancestor Come now, you can at least be on the level with an ancestor. ances-tor. Jap I want you to feel just as confident about Japanese supremacy as I am. Ancestor (with a grimace) That's what startles me. Jap Everything's going my way. Ancestor That's just a line from Oklahoma. You know better, don't you? Jap What Oklahoma, the play or the ship? Ancestor Both! Jap I know better, but I had hoped you didn't Ancestor Sometimes I think I get a better picture of the whole war situation from the grave than you get from where you are. Jap I'm thinking seriously oi joining you, just to prove you're right. Ancestor Whatever happened to that Japanese peace in the American Amer-ican White House? Jap You aren't going to hold me to that, are you, grandpappy? Ancestor Honorable descendanl should tell honorable ancestor when he is just kidding. Jap We are doing- fine. The American soldier doesn't know how to fight. The American sailor is a joke. The American airman Is nc match for the Japanese airman. You know that, don't you? Ancestor Of course I do. Yot know it and I know it, but do the Americans know it? Jap Do you want an answer t that last question? Ancestor No. I just got it. Jap How? Ancestor X heard about those Pa cific islands. Jap That's a lot of Trukl Ancestor Honorable ancestoi must respectfully urge honorable de scendant that honorable prestige i! , at stake. Jap You're telling me! Ancestor Honorable ancestor be gins to fear he placed too much fait! in honorable descendant. Jap And honorable descendan has same fear the other way around Ancestor Who started this supe: race idea, anyhow, you or I? Jap You did. Ancestor Nothing of the kind. It'; all your idea. Jap Nonsense. It comes dowi from you. Ancestor It's entirely your the ory. (This goes on indefinitely. It end: in a tie.) Congress now talks of an incomi tax system under which all the bur densome business of filling out i crossword puzzle will be eliminated But the number of public account ants and tax experts thrown out o work will create the greatest un employment crisis the country ha: ever known. Fritz Kreisler, who has alway spurned the radio, has at last sur rendered and will go on the air soon Radio has been trying to get him fo years but he has just been fiddlinj around. We can't understand why som radio dance music program doesn' call itself "Syncopation Please." Radio Commentators m Here's to Vandercook (Johnny) His deep views are never in hock; His stuff he intones In the very same tones My preacher directs to his flock. , Ray Giamm Swing Explains each tiling With skill and force . . . But why that horse? Old Gabe Heater Makes life sweeter I Unless you don't share 1 His concern for your hair. ! Can You Remember Away back when: ; Bartenders asked, "Do you war Rye OR Scotch?" Butchers played pinochle only a niplil? The noise of coal delivery jarre your nerves? Railroad blackboards used litll chalk? You made a gift of a shoe tha pinched? Taxis raced for hack-stand pos tions? J a.nr!na- ox m nlnfl brOUffllt heat |