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Show Just to Be Sure Two expert pickpockets were strolling along the road together. Every now and then one of them would stop, take out his watch and look at it. His companion began to get annoyed. an-noyed. 'I say, Jim," he said, "what's up with you? Why d'yer keep looking look-ing at your ticker? Ain't it going, or something?" "I'm not looking at it to see the time," said the other; "I'm looking at it to make sure that it's still there." NO FOOLING! Dealer: "This vase is over 2000 years old, sir." American Millionaire: "Oh, yeah. Don't try to pull that stuff over on me. It's only 1950 now." Dad Had A Good Line A little boy who was late for Sunday Sun-day school had to stand up before be-fore the class and explain the reason rea-son for his tardiness. "I tried to go fishing," he said, "but Daddy wouldn't let me." "You're lucky to have a father like that," the teacher remarked. "And I suppose he told you why you shouldn't go fishing today?" "Yes, ma'am," the little boy answered. an-swered. "He said there wasn't enough bait for both of us." Naval Engagement Concerned about her husband in the navy, a young wife sent a note to her pastor. It reached him as he ascended the pulpit, and read: "John Anderson having gone to sea, his wife desires the prayers of the congregation for his safety." Looking over it hastily, the minister mini-ster read aloud, "John Anderson having gone to see his wife, desires the prayers of the congregation for his safety." . Cause for Mirth "I don't want to complain, cook," said her mistress, "biit that friend who comes to see you sta'ys much too late. I couldn't get to sleep last night because of her laughter." "I'm sorry, ma'am," replied the cook. "I was telling her about that time you tried to make a cake." No Trouble After rescuing a fellow townsman towns-man from his burning home, a grocer declared modestly: "Anyone "Any-one would have done the same thing. He was a very good cus tomer." REASON ENOUGH "You hit your husband with a chair? Pray tell me, why did you do it?" "I did it," sighed the lady, "because "be-cause I could not lift the table." Give Away Program The small son of a college faculty member trudged home from his first day at Sunday school and solemnly began emptying his pockets pock-ets of money quarters, dimes, nickels while his parents stood by gasping. Finally his mother shrieked, "Where did you get all that money?" mon-ey?" "At Sunday school," said the youngster. "They've got bowls of it down there!" Penalty for Truth "What is the dilference," asked the teacher in arithmetic, "between one yard and two yards?" "A fence!" said Tommy. Then Tommy sat on the ruler -ix times. TIT FOR TAT Clerk: "Sir, my wife told me to ask you for a raise." Boss: "All right, I'll ask my wife if I can give you one." |