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Show 111! .of5 o an Innocent Bystander: Haw! I'hil Baker tells about the six-yea r-old who was tugging a suitcase suit-case down Central Park West. The corner cop stopped her and asked where she was going. ''My Daddy and Mummy were having a fight," explained the child. "Mummy told Daddy to go to Tim-ructoo, Tim-ructoo, and Daddy told Mummy to go some place else. So, I left home-nobody's home-nobody's sticking ME with any two-year two-year lease!" Forecast for 1942: From Jay Franklin's colyum in Richmond, Va.: "Walter Winchell will cease to write about Cafe Society because it won't exist. Walter Lippmann will write the best columns of his life and nobody no-body will read them. Mark Sullivan will be drafted into Government service to help administer the nationwide food-stamp plan. Dorothy Doro-thy Thompson will fight it out with Clare Boothe Luce for the role of Julia Ward Howe or Florence Nightingale. Night-ingale. David Lawrence will continue con-tinue to do his stuff so long as he can find papers to print it, after which he will Join the USO and work In a canteen. Raymond Clapper will gain in courage and, breaking with Roy Howard, will emerge as a real columnist Morning Mall: "Dear Walter: So chorus girls never become famous-Just famous-Just notorious, eh? The Winchell you say! Ho xz about Ruby Keeler, Barbara Stanwyck, Vlrginh Bruce, Glalys Glad, Ina Claire and Joan Crawford? Go stand In a corner, but don't get me wrong. I'm a former Hellzhpoppin' chorine, and I have good nason to be nuts about W.W. Margie Young. Banjo Eyes." THERE ARE MAY example! o clever headline-writing. We think this is one of the best: When John Muse-field Muse-field arrived here from England where he was poet laureate, he refused to grant newspaper men an interview . . . So one evening paper ran this streamer: "King's Canary Reuses to Chirp'' which made a better story Uian the interview in-terview could have been. From the editorial page of the N. Y. Post: "If Adolf Hitler captured Our Town, which are the first ten New Yorkers York-ers he would hang? . . . Certain names will spring to your mind at once. Dorothy Doro-thy Thompson? Walter Winchell?" Ladies first, of course. Capt. Patrick Smith, whose articles arti-cles on Japan were of great benefit to the U. S., Is now an American and ready for any service the country wishes . . . Salute to the National Maritime Union: The one Union whose members do more than work for the country. They die for itl . . . "Banjo Eyetm": Leona Olsen of the chorus and Ben Bernle's boy, Jason, have called the whole thing spinach ... J. Dorscy's manager and the chief arranger bare-fisted it this week A foreign playboy, who told the El Morocco, Stork, Fefe's and other dcbbles he was from Holland, was collared by the FBI as a Berliner . . . Spring is really here. All 3 hatcheck gals at Iceland became brides last week. Gosh, Yes! Al Bcrnle says you hear so little of John Nance Garner you'd think he was still Vice-President! Journalism's biggest laugh in a long time came when Sec'y Knox's paper published a competitor's personal per-sonal letter to a reader. In which the rival boasted of many things he claimed he did In the interest of the nation . . Knox's paper played up the conceited letter with the headline: head-line: "Whatta Man!" . . . When Knox saw it he was disappointed . . . "The slug 'Whatta Man! was not so good," he said ... 'It should have said: 'And On The Seventh Day He Rested!' " Sounds In the Night: At La Conga: "A bore is a guy who wraps up a two-minute idea in a two-hour vocabulary" vocab-ulary" ... At Iceland: "Since we have MacArthur and so many Yanks there, why don't they call it UStra-Ha?" UStra-Ha?" . . At Roseland: "Hey. where has Ripley been all your life?" ... In the Cub: "He's gotten to a point in his career where the only way you can insult him is to Ignore him" ... At LaMartinique: "Frus. trated? She's practically strangling from her halo" ... At Spivy's: "It's one of those improbable things. Like Tnllulah getting stage fright" ... In the Hickory House: "She uses her eyebrow pencil to draw lit-tie lit-tie question marks over her eyes" . . . L the 1-2-3: "The gay life's worn her out like a piece of used confetti" ... In Versailles: "You cant have everything. Even a friendly slap on the back has its sting." Tce-Ilee: Elsa Maxwell, the nicest blimp in town, approached a Rainbow Rain-bow Room table group. Maestro Leo Reisman greeted her with: "Where have you been all these weeks?" "Helping the Gov't design some new tanks." explained Elsa. "Really?" meow'd a deb. "I didn't know you'd taken up modeling." Jimmy Walker says: "The Freedom Free-dom of the Press is too often confused con-fused with the freedom of the publisher." pub-lisher." v |