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Show Favorite jokes My Start the Ayi by STANicy Mynon !an!eIman marry me unless I was a doctor. She wanted me to give up my job selling ice cream, go to premedical school for four years, then medical school for four years and then intern for another two years. In the meantime, I figured, what happens if she meets another guy and decides to marry him? Then I'm stuck being a doctor. EDITORS NOTE: it was Stanley Myron Handelman's employment as an athletic-social director at a summer resort that led to his entry into show business. "As a means of communicating with the hotel guests," he says, "and doing my job, I would gain their attention by kidding around." Stanley's jokes reveal underlying ironies both in the external world and the strange way people's minds work, as in his story about going to the psychiatrist: "I told him that I felt very insignificant; that nobody was interested in me. I told him about being at a party with I best friend. was telling my friend my how upset I was and he wasn't even listening to me. And I told the psychiatrist: 'If it keeps on like this, I'm afraid I'm going to take my life. What do you think I should do?' So he said: 'I'm sorry; I wasn't paying any attention. What was that? " Stanley has played in the top clubs across the country, was a regular on the "Dean Martin Show," and a frequent guest on TV variety shows. Here are some of his offbeat jokes: the days of lawlessness when people were lucky to live past the age In of 25, my Uncle Morris lived to 90 because he was intelligent. When he checked into town he handed out his card. It said: "Morris Handelman, slowest gun in the West" Everyone was afraid to fight with him just in case they killed him and would end up with the reputation as the man who killed the slowest gun in the West. Actually, Morris wasn't the slowest gun; there was one guy slower, but he was afraid to say anything because my uncle would kill him. Not having any skills, I knocked around for years doing odd jobs, and it was getting very depressing. I'd get dressed up in the morning, really look great, and go out and look for an odd job. I decided to take some aptitude tests to find out if I had any special ability that I could develop. They tested me for three days. When the results came, they told me that I would be very good at odd jobs. I asked if I had any special ability at all. Their representative said I could do any kind of work that required a lot of strength. I said, "How could you tell I'm strong from an aptitude test?" He told me he noticed that I got the square pegs into the round holes. pi finis MgMer. Patricia Harrell of Mobile, Alabama lost 136 lbs. on the Ayds Thats right! Patricia Harrell lost as much as three pounds some weeks on the Ayds Plan and was ablecr I 10-spe-ed New York is wonderful. It's a place where people walk around just happy to be alive. up a bank. teller what he asked the The police "I couldn't said: looked like. The teller tell, he was wearing masks." A guy with two heads held I "Which one would you recommend ?' Plan-fr- om 249 lbs. to 113 lbs. was collecting $75 a week unemployment One day when I was going down to pick up my check, I passed a bicycle store. I saw an English bike racer in the window, a marked down from $230 to $150. I figured to afford a bike like that Id have to be out of work for two more weeks. Last year ). NORM ENT was in love with a girl a long time ago when I had a job selling ice cream on the beach. We wanted to get married, but she said that she would never lytliisimeffiffit: iM Use MMii wear short shorts for the first time in her life. How does the Ayds Plan work? You simply take one or two Ayds Reducing Plan Candies before each meal with a hot drink. Ayds helps satisfy your appetite so you eat less, take in fewer calories and lose weight... week after week. No drugs to make you nervous. No fad diets. No strenuous exercises. Its a safe, natural way to lose weight Ayds comes in four delicious V flavors: vanilla caramel, choqtr; late fudge, chocolate mint, and butterscotch fudge. Dont put off reducing any longer. Start the Ayds Plan now. It worked for Patricia Harrell. It could work for you, too. . W feCOIJ8if inmGHi?4U 35 |
