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Show Moab Happenings IS MALE PATTERN BALDNESS THE RELEVENT SOCIAL CONCERN LATE NIGHT Rogaine. INFO-MERCIA- Hair Transplants. Hair Replacement Therapy. Rugs. Im not just a client, I'm the owner. Male Pattern Baldness has clubs throughout the United States of inspired America, soliciting males who fear that the evidence a bald head is the evidence of a lack of virility. Lots of money (no figures available, but we assume lots and lots of money) is spent on hair transplants, cases of Rogaine, and toupees each year, creating big business for companies that prey on insecure men and an economic burden upon men who are sucked into this ideology. Four women of Moab, Utah decided to pursue this idea, to discover whether male pattern baldness is the relevant social concern that late night lead one to believe. They call themselves the Moab Mexican Hairless Coalition. Forty-fiv- e people in the Moab area were randomly attacked with questions of whether baldness was considered ugly- - a symbol of lost virility, and whether one would consider the genetic disposition of baldness when planning to reproduce young. Men and women from age 14 to 78 were asked for their opinions. This poll turned up some amazing results that may weaken the lots and lots of money big business that is dependent upon the idea that baldness is a social concern. The four women of info-mercia- ls fear for their lives because of releasing this LEAD ONE TO BELIEVE? LS information, in case the Hair Club for Men decides to silence their results. Overall, the results prove that baldness is no big deal. In fact, 33 of women in their 30s and 70 of the women in their 40s reported that they believed baldness to be attractive. The effect of baldness on virility also proved not to be a problem, with 20 of the women in their 30s staling that being bald improved virility. (Bald men, move to Moab and get a date without a wig or attempting the infamous sweep-over(See Illustration C) But, please remember to bring a hat to shade that shiny pate from the sun!!!) One unidentified male in his forties used the example of Sean Connery for the increased virility that baldness may bring! The women of the Moab Mexican Hairless Coalition state, AMEN. to One trend that has been discovered by 30 40 of people polled is that as some men bald, there is facial hair compensation. The Moab Mexican Aid shows the typical Visual Hairless Coalition of hair displacement according to progression from age 20 to age 50. As men gravitational pull begin to lose hair on the top of their head, more hair is grown along the mandibular line. (See Illustration A) Beginning with mustaches, the hair increases to the ever-hi- p goatee to a full beard. Other men may take a two-ste- p approach by not only growing facial hair, but to grow a long ponytail as well. Almost all of those who were polled did not believe in using a hair replacement system, whether a toupee, Rogaine, or transplants - to give an illusion d of hair when faced with the prospect of of a !! full-hea- balding. One 30 year old male did show all of the symptoms that Hair Club for Men patrons possess, by believing that baldness affected his virility and attractiveness. He yas the only participant willing to do whatever was necessary to appear hairy! The consensus of the Moab Mexican Hairless Coalition is that his insecurity is unattractive, and not the potential of a bald head. The results of this scientifically (but not necessarily statistically correct) conducted poll support the biased opinions of the Moab Mexican Hairless Coalition. So guys, if youre struggling with the idea of going bald - GET OVER IT!!!!!! Women dont care if you dont care. And theres plenty of in the sexually mature and females in Moab, Utah that actually find that bald head aggressive stage attractive! Randi Prickett Amanda Williams Lori Klein Kristin Johnson t T I Osterheod view 30's 20'$ Classic Cars, Classic Women, Classic Shopping rail ikii ifeai ireii ikm JUST ANAZ5AZI AS THE LOVINGLY HANDCRAFTED TOTTERY BASKETS, t OUR CONTEMPORARY 50UTHVEST ARTISTS PATIENTLY CREATE ORIGINAL ITEMS INSPIRED BY THE UNIQUE BEAUTY OF THE 40's 50's FREE VISITOR POSTCARD Walker Drug 290 South Main Your headquarters in Moab for: Cosmetics Southwest. feuFASHION JEWELRY TOYS CARDS SOUVENIRS - . Stationary Toys Health & Beauty Aids 35mm FilmCameras Housewares Hardware Picnic Supplies - FUN PERCUSSION SMILES 15B By Kris Johnson . H April 1998 f f DISCOUNT GIFTS 5 jr C SMm CAVE DREAMERS GIFT SH0? MONUMENTS 40 I C0U?0N OFF ALE MERCHANDISE 10 ACCESSORIES GALLERY NORTH 100 WEST Block West of Dovntovn Visitor Center (435) 259-649- 5 Not attlicable to sale merchandise. Not valid with other discounts. & Camping Supplies Sporting Goods GoodiesCold Drinks IceCoolers Greeting Cards Swimming Suits Baby Supplies Batteries Bicycle Accessories IK1I IUS1I IEMI OUT OF TOWN PRESCRIPTION SERVICE 259-595- 9 |