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Show Record staff shows 'unique' maturity? delivering papers in his neighborhood. Of course, they soon moved him on to a more responsible position because of his perfect aim at the front porch. And as final proof of his maturity, let me add that Mike is a member of an LDS bishopric, no small chore for a kid. Now, as for myself. I'm not much for talking about myself, but I'll give it my best. Perhaps it is sufficient to say that other than Sir, I am the oldest member of our staff. (Other than maybe Jeff Ray, who won't shave his beard so that we can tell how old he is. ) Perhaps that is proof enough. But there's much more, just let me think a minute. ... My Wife was telling me just the other day ... No, that will never do My mother once told me . . . No, that just won't do either. Well, let me assure you, the evidence is clear and voluninous ... if only I could think of some of it. During the recent flap over cartoons, etc., we here at the Record have heard that the word at City Hall is that we are "a bunch of kids with a dangerous toy." Now, I must object to that. V? Bruce Dangerous toy or not, we are not a bunch of kids. Heck, as far as I know, we all passed through puberty at least several years ago. Let me give you some examples of just how mature of a group this is. I'm sure my cohorts here won't mind me talking about them a little. And no matter what they may tell you to the opposite, what I am about to say is true or very nearly so. Let's start with our publisher, Mr. Stanfield, or Sir, as he is known around here. If you would look closely at Sir, you would see that he has recently grown a moustache, and a fine one at that. Now, I ask you, is that the action of a child? Is a child even capable of growing a moustache of that quality and thickness? Gee, even his wife says it's okay, which is better than my wife says about mine. And, let me now put a rumor to rest that some rabble-rouser cartoonist-policeman cartoonist-policeman started some time ago. Sir did not buy this newspaper for a large baseball card collection that he has been working on for many years. Nosiree. Contrary to what you may have heard, this dangerous toy was purchased for a substantial collection of Farah Fawcett posters. Now that shows maturity. Just between you and I, Sir keeps his baseball collection in his bottom drawer of his desk, the one that locks. By the way, I hope you all tell Sir when you see him this week that you liked this column, so that I still have a job next week. Second, in no specific order, we come to Mike Cannon, the newest member of the staff. Mike is called, simply, Mike, to differentiate him from Sir. We hired Mike, among other reasons, because we wanted to add some maturity to the staff. And Mike is no kid. In fact, the thing that finally convinced con-vinced us to hire Mike was when he turned into the wind one day, his hair blew back and we learned, to our surprise, that his forehead extended further back on his head than the rest of us. In fact, Mike washes about three inches more forehead every morning than the rest of us do. Now, that's maturity! Shhhh. This is a well kept secret. Don't tell Mike that I told you. Besides that Mike comes to the paper with a broad and long experience in journalism. In fact, he has had ink in his veins since he was just a lad, |