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Show By Jack Wallis LaMV I Like a million dollars? I received in the mail this week a huge fancy certificate-like letter saying, (in small type) "Be it hereby known that if the enclosed entry is the grand prize winner win-ner (and in huge type) Jack K. Wallis, valued Amoco customer shall be paid one million dollars in cash-guaranteed." cash-guaranteed." The letter went on and on about my million using my full name 20 times all printed in various sizes of type. The letter let-ter even said I could receive a second million dollars, because my entry is eligible eligi-ble in not just one, but two giant sweepstakes. The one million and two million dollars appeared in the letter almost as many times as did my name. "Imagine! One or two million dollars in the Wallis bank account!" was printed at the bottom of page one in large letters. It sure looked good. All the use of my name and the million dollars appeared only on one side of the form letter. On the other side the pitch was that 20,000 winners would receive prizes and then finally the real pitch, "I can select my favorite magazine at super savings. No lower rates available anywhere to the general public." I threw the complete packet into the wastebasket. Then after a moment I reached back and pulled out the letter portion and once again gazed at all those Jack R. Wallis'. No one would ever use my name that many times in a letter, not even my mother. Then I remembered some good advise: given in a news release several weeks ago by the U.S. Postal Regulation Department on scams and schemes. "If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is." Also to further fortify my resistance , against sending off my quick million dollar letter, I read through a press release from the State of Utah Department Depart-ment of Business Regulations. The letter let-ter started, "It's spring again. Time for the Williamson Gang. Like clockwork they appear in almost every state in the country. "During their 60-years of operation, the gang of more than 300 adult members and associates (according to the California Califor-nia Department of Justice file) have bilked bilk-ed millions of dollars from consumer victims, vic-tims, many of them elderly. "Some of their best known specialties are cheap imitations of 'oriental rugs,' 'fine woolens,' and 'Irish lace,' fradulent roof repair and weatherproofing, driveway sealing and repair, fradulent termite extermination, tree trimming, ( charged by the branch ) , and paint that washes away with the first rain. "After 60 years it would be difficult to believe they have 'turned over a new leaf,'" the alert concluded. If you don't order any magazines from the Amoco, American Family Publishers contest, you won't be out much, but you probably will not win much either, even though the rules say "No purchase necessary to enter or win." The "important notice" led me to believe I was the only person to receive such a wonderful offer. How many others got one of those "personal" letters using your name 20 times? Probably millions were mailed. But they are not getting my 20 cent stamp. If they want to send me one million dollars they'll just have to send it to me direct. I'm not going to send back any list of numbers, or give them an order for magazines I don't have time to read. So American Family Publishing, if you want to give me a million dollars, that's fine. But please don't waste your money sending all that fancy stuff telling me how lucky I am. For I sincerely believe, "If it sounds too good to be true, it probably pro-bably is not true." I also believe that it is not good to get something for nothing. But I'm sure AFP won't worry about not receiving my contest entry by return mail, because they would not spend all those dollars for such a costly promotion if they didn't receive a fairly high percentage of answers. Afterall, a million dollars would pay a Jot of bills. |