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Show FROM BILL TO STEVE l & VIEWS OF A BUSHERl By KITTO W. LAEDNEE. CHICAGO. Dec. 12. Steve. "Well Steve I guess I all ready told vou what a ruff game foot ball is but I found out last Thnrs. that theys still 1 game ruffer then foot ball yet & the game to which I reffer to is xmas shoping & of corse it aint realy no game be- "but I found out lost Thurs. that theys still 1 game ruffer than football. cause thev aint no fun in it but they aint 'no fun in foot ball nether but vet thoy call it a game so thats" why I called xmas shoping a game just for a kind of a joke seo Stove. I was to busy early in tne wk. to go down town & buy a xmas present for the little girl but Thurs. ami asked the land lady whero I bord at where was the best place to buv xmas presents & she savs what ' kind & I says some thing nice for a girl i- she says go to some jcwlry tdore but T savs no 1 dont want to buy no jewlry because be-cause sooner or latter I got to buy her a engaggment ring & that win be enough jewlry so the land lady savs why dont 5"Ou ? t0 some of the big dept. 'stores 4.- look a round ma' be you will get souie I idears so I asked her which was , the bigest dept. store where they dont soke you she to!d me so I I went down "to the dept. store which she told me a bout it .V they had evry thing but a fire dept. But I badent never been iu to 1 ot" them before so I dident know whero to look lor any thing or where the difrunt dep'ts. was so when T went iu I dident know what to do next k I just stood there untill finely a fella came up to me & pays w'nnt w-,ns you looking look-ing for & I" says I want to buy a xmas present for the girl & he says some thing in jewlry rist watch or some thing and I says how much is rist watchs & he says we have them from $10.00 dollars up & I says you must tako me for some rummy because be-cause I know where I can get a grate big watch for 3 or 4.00 dollars dol-lars & not no rist watch nether but 1 she could put in her pocket so why should I cough up $10.00 for a 'rist watch when I can get a good big 1 for less money. SO HE says well if your looking look-ing for some thing big why dont you get her a wash tub & T says where a bouts could I find them and he says the lOnd. floor take the elevator so I went As got in the elevator & stood right up clost to the front so as 1 could get out quick if some thing haii-ened haii-ened k honest Steve I thot I would get killed before we ever come to the lOnd. floor or any whercs near it nothing hapened to the elevator but they "must of been -10 wommen ether stepped on my ft. or cracked me in the ribbs Sc I bet if they Iiad of been men & not no wommen ' I would of broke them in 2. I did loose my temper onct & I says to 1 of them why don't you take a ax and make a good job out of it she savs to the wommen that wns a long" with h'-r Ive herd of elevator ele-vator starters to Mart the curs up but this here fellows some thing new hes a stopper he stops the (Continued on Following Page.') FROM BILL TO STEVE: VIEWS OF i BOSHER (Continued from Preceding Page.) elevators up so you see Sieve I -was talking t-o oine bucr. Weil I finely got to the lOnd. floor & when the man opend fbo door fill the wonimen that was behind be-hind me took :i runiiii; hop & -jump at my Iback & throwed mo out of tho elevator. I was so mad I oouldeut hardly eo & I wisht there husband was with theme so as I could lake a wallop at some body. Well I dident see ro wash tubs no where & I must of stood there i a bout 5 min. before any bodv come near me & then a man come up & says what was I lookinsr for & I told him & he ehased me a bout a block clear lo tho other eide of the bldp & on the way cvry w-om-mpn in the place kicked me in tho shin or give me the L bow &- finely I got to where the wash tubs was at & what do you think they was Steve nothing but just piano wash tubs like woinmen washs there close in when they aint got no sink in the house. ' - . I SAYS to the man you must think. Im a rummy buying- c wash tub for tho girl & he eays what do you mean girl & I says 1 told the man down stares that I wanted to ,uet some thing- for mv snrl for xmas & he told me to "ether "et-her a wash tub & I thot he must mean some thing cliff runt & not no piano wash tub. I says you must think my girl is a wash wommun or some thing. Then the man savs t dont know nothing about voir gin you must ikiuk the man Uowu stares wrote me a letter a t It i i HJLl I fi'(,U l;y ect'arS?,tf y0U kn0ck roe t0 the f- 111 bout you & vonr girl. I dont know if your gn-r needs a wash tub or not because I never seen her I says what aro you trving to kid some body. I will report vou to the mgr. of the store. He savs go a head & report me. Then fsavs' where will I find the mgr. of the . store & bo says go to the lost & found dept. & if he aint there its because he cant be found. I says all right. & you probly wont havo no .iob when you come to work tomorrow to-morrow & he says if vou knock me to the mgr. Ill get a "raze Well Sieve I seen it would be a mean trick to -et a guy fired when he indent know no better & problv couldent get no other iob & the only reason lies working there ia because may be hes a rellashon to the man that owns the store. So I dident go looking for the mgr. & 1 made up my mind I wouhlent buy nothing in no store where they was so fresh so I started for the elevator eleva-tor to take me down to the 1 floor that the st. is on & go home or somo whores else ft was -j3t like my luck to get in to an other ! elevator that was jamed with worn- i men & they kept stoping all the way down to pick up soma more of them & the last 3 or 4 floors i before we come to the bottom wo f was packed in there like sour i deans & all thev was doing to mo S was sp'ikeing mv ft. & punching mo in tho stumach & sticking hat pins f in my solders & tickeling me in tha l ears with the fethers on there hat1 IP & when I got out I felt as if Id I S .just come back to the hotel down f south after the 1st day of trane- 3 wg. . 1 1 Tho worst part a bout it Steve is I tlident got nothing for the girl p & I trot to go again but 111 go some S wheres else & all so 111 try & find I , a store thats all on 1 floor' like the t stores down homo. Respy. K BILL. 6 |