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Show GRIDIRON CLUB'S ANNUAL DINNER IKESjIG RIT Many Fads and Foibles of "the Great" Are Criticised in a Good naturcd way. ROOSEVELT COMES IN FOR HIS SHARE Longworth Is Made to De dare That Oyster Bay Is Mighty Lonesome ! Place. WASHINGTON Dee 12 Members of the cabinet, congressmen, diplomat Ists and leaden of all activities of the nation s life gathered round the board here tonight at the Gridiron club a winter dinner President Wilson s earnest injunction to the American people to refrain frota pubbe d scussion of war Issues was strictly regarded and the location of everv one of the many satires and dra ma tie skits was always within the shore lines of the two oceans which bound the Americas. Lncle Sam wards were given full opportunity to air their grievances, for the most part In song in a gathering described as 'Uncle Sara s Jubilee. The negTO complained of the workings of the civil service law whieh ' has sentenced more good colored voters to the levees and cotton fields than any other pernicious legislation." He also deplored the new primary laws and to tha air of "OWf-Vnele Ned' te sang There was an old delegate his came was Uncle Neo. Be lived long ago, long ago He went to conventions nhenever ho was bid. And that 3 now he nved, long ago. CHORra "Then lay down the shovel and the coe. And hang up the fiddle od the bow Trere s no more work for poor TTnde Ned. The primaries laid him low Tanner oices Complaint The farmer was another ward w th a complaint he wanted a bunch, of greenbacks. T7p home he had a shed full of squashes and wanted the treas ury to issue circulating notes on them Two other wards were Colonel Watter son and Colonal Harvey They had no grievances, but expresed their content ment in a song the refrain of which was Tt cone back, come back. Ive come back. Dear Leader to thee to thee rve come back, come baJc 1 ve come back. Dear Leader to thee. Among other wards Alaska wanted to be shielded from exploitation of capitalists, Hawaii called attest on to Queen Lihuokalani s lack of pension, Porto- Rico wanted mora government jobs and a duty on sugar and a Fill . pino wanted to know when he would gTOw up and be independent. When the latter was ehlded and told that he must not get hasty he replied Hastyi I m gtt ng musty The politician eomplained that taxes had been laid on business paper, chew ing gum billiard rooms and circuses while whisky had gone Scot free be cause the bill had been passed in October Octo-ber and the election was in November and m a burst of satire he sang It you have to lay a tax, Don t put It onto rye. put It onto luxur es But keep H off of rye Stick It onto chelng gum. Or billiard cues saje 1 But for the love of Hike I beg you. Keep If off of rye. Realistic Prize Fight A realist c prize f ght was staged m the center of the dining hall and the spectators were treated to a livelj njjlX The stake was a large house located at 1600 Ponnsvlvania aenue and the principals were Kid Democracy Demo-cracy and Old GOP the ref eree being Bull Moose. who an nonnced his ab Uty to lick both of the two old part es. His decisions had never been questioned even when overruled by the supreme court A moving picture show enl vened the proceedings represent ng the greatest deliberative body on earth the United States senate in session but the gen eral effect was greatly marred first by a strenuous object on to such an un Idignfied encroachment upon the body I an when that had been removed by the nsertion of his own name nto the ad I vertisemcnt by the fact tl at Senator Ollie James pers sted m stand ng up and thereby blotting out the remainder of the picture Following its invariable rule the Gridiron club Initiated in the presence of its many guests a new member W I 1 am E Br gham Washington correspondent corre-spondent of the Boston Transcr pt who was descr bed as a journalist who would 1 ke to get into an a soc at on of newspaper men nswenng ques tioni he a 1 that he was n prettv good standing in S cretary Bryan s anteroom A Eoosevelt song to the tune or (Continued on Page Eleven.) llB OF GRIDIRON CLUB BIG SUCCESS (OoDtlnnod from Fage Ono ) I m on My Way to Mandalay fol lowed with this chorus 1 m on my way to Oyster Bay, Beneath my shletenng root I ve got to stay X sing u song Of things got wrong 1 n no o ger trus ed Tl ey ha u go ne fl ered And tne B g Btlok s busted That a why I m on the way to Oyster Bay Tve co ne to say rood by Old Ho e wee bro ght together some old sp rlts under the k ndly eye of the QoddeBs of Liberty on an ele vated perch, who had come to welcome them from Lor stat on on tho done of Iho a I lo J u us H ng I f rs arrivals n 1 wh n sk I how lo g 1 o was go g to stay replic 1 ' W 1 dldn t buy no return t kot v HuUoway anotbor returning eon grmsn a a ou cc 1 that up h s w y " th hunting e poor all the II 11 Moose la e be n kille 1 off When Ni holas 1 ongw th arpoarpl Cannon uq Irel IIow s the fa n ly Nick! Bring em all to tl e eel brat onf 1 ongworthAll ex ept father In Cannon Why dldn t you persuade h m to stay In so e of those lonesome places be writes about t Longworth There ant no lone somer places than Oyster Day right now When told that Secrotary Daniels had abolished the wine menu on war ships during his absence from Wash Ington Bu-lloway excla med 7 That means no n ore Inspection cruises by the naval committee When Cannon learned that the Amer lean troops bad boen withdrawn from Vera e nl er 11 ex 1 me I I ho ght I h ar 1 f ug on that day It ut have 1 e that aluto to tuo flag Other skits ) ortrayed he adequacy of tl e I ii te 1 Sta ps my i v owed by Borr se t t a (I Jnpr he federal pspr o I oar 1 n f ton try ue to abf stleate tho u wh aper rcro t ers and a mock rehearsal of tbo 6r d ron dub itself nd emulat ng the rub! cations of the F uroi ea cbane 1 lories the club a tpd to he placed lit each place The Blue Paper corre spondence relating to the ram sign pre eeding the outbreak of hostil ties on November 3 1914 and the fatalit es incident thereto A the annual election Fdgar C Bnyflpr of he Omaha Bee was e ectsd ores den will the fol owing off rcrs Vice p est dent, Louis W Strayer P t sburg D s patch secretary John S Shrlver Ba more Star treasurer James P Horn day Indianapolis News Harry J Brown of the Portland Ore ronlan was elected to membersh p |