OCR Text |
Show Tho Hunting of tho Jag. (With apologias to the lato Rev. Lewis , , Carroll.) LL LTST 11,0 p,ftCo for a J2 tnc 11000 I cried. fj As ho crawled from the frolghl with care. Giving tho "brakey" a berth very wide, As the cinders he shook from his hair. "Just thu placo for a Jag, I have said It twice. That alone should encourage you: Just the placo for a Jag, I have said It thrice, What I soy three times Is true. Salt Lake Is Just great, though the beer Is flvo centH. Every five yards you'll find a saloon. And tho thirst It gives you Is simply, lm-innnse, lm-innnse, If you're hungry "froo lunch" Is a boon. But around on l-'lrst South there's a place they call jail. And a magistrate thoro, too. you'll And. Ills name Is Chris Dlchl, and no yarn will avail To fool him. And yet he Is kind. John Koys Ih a lineman.. At least so he says, But Selgfus Informed tho-Judgc. "Nay. John Keys Ih a agrant. We don't like his ways. To work ho's a stranger. All day lie haunts tho resorts where they servo out tho booze, And though ho lias not got tho prico, To drink with a stranger ho'll never refuse. re-fuse. And that, you'll, agree, Is- not nlco. "John Koyfl." said the Judge, "you must go far away. Don't linger too long In Salt Iiko; K you are still hero at tho end of a day A scntenco In Jail you will take." A soldier there was who has fought for Ids land 'Neath the Philippines' tropical suns. The thirst ho acquired such liquor demands de-mands That his boor Is served to him in lun3. Now It seemed that for all this he's hardly to blame. Though with being drunk he was accused, ac-cused, And since he had wholly forgotten his name, "John Doc, to conviction unused. You. may go," said tho Judge, "but don t como hero aguln. Though I've always admired hospitality. If you're drunk very often, 'twill give mo much pain To try to suppress your sodality. ' Now there's ono Lena MadHcn, whoso tongue Is ton free, llor language is wry abusive. Says her friend Emma Martin, "The names sho called me T hope you will soo that she rues. If Ilor mouth Is not stopped, I am sure 'twill turn blue. And that flho'd repent very dearly. Says the Judge: "Sho must promlno that sho'll not call you Those names or wcMl treat her sqverely. "What, again here, L. S. Randall," Said tho Judge. "I thought you promised You would stay away from liquor, Slay away from this police court, Stay awoy from beer and whisky, Prlmo nnd mellow Bourbon whisky." Aged in years Is L. S. Randall, Aged Is his tongue and agile. But for onco his talent failed him, No excuse ho found to utter. "Flo upon. Out upon you. Many times I've tried to show you That tho bench p quite paternal, Quito paternal In Its mildness. Now paternal In Its strictness. This time you must pay tho city. Poor old hard-up. needy city, Thr.e good dollars, and In caso you Don't amend your ways you'll llnd It's Up to you to stake the city." |