Show OTBEOR Employer to new office boylf anyone any-one calls James be sure and remember that I am not in Half an hour later Didnt you hear me call you young rascal James Yes sir but I thought yer wasnt In Tit Bits That actress says that she always nuts her diamonds on when Khe takes a bath Do you suppose she is afraid they will be stolen HillsNo its force of habit with her Shes so used to putting them In soak you know Pioneer Press This unique specimen of a certificate of death was tendered by a native apothecary apoth-ecary at an inquest in India I think she died or lost her life for want of food or on account of starvation and perhaps for other things of her comfort ables and most probably she died by drowning Household Words I am hero gentlemen explained tho pickpocket to his fellowprisoners as the result of a moment of abstraction And I said the incendiary because of an unfortunate habit of making light of things And I claimed a forger on account of a simple desire to make a name for myself And I added the burglar through nothing but taking advantage of an opening which offered In a large mercantile establishment in town But here the warder separated thorn TitBits She angering the keys of the piano Do you play much Mr Kawler He No not under the nev racing lawser that is yes I play tho flute sonicTown Topics I wonder who started that slang about getting it In the neck asked the curious boarder Some man whose wife bought him a necktie at a bargain sale likely said the cheerful idiot Indianapolis Journal Lushfortti am going to swear oil New Years Wickwire Friends of the family invited in-vited Invited to what The funeral Indianapolis Journal Agent Why didnt you take the residence resi-dence I recommended to you Parvenu It lo so near the opera house that my wife couldnt have used the carriage Fllccenda Blatter This thing of being engaged to halfa dozen girls isnt what its cracked up toe to-e this time of year Why not Because you have to make each an expensive ex-pensive gift Nonsense Give each a trifle and toll her that the more you save the sooner you can get married Truth Have you noticed said a man to Dumas Du-mas that it Is impossible to make an mbecU acknowledge that he is an idiot or course replied Dumas the moment ae adrottlfci he was an Idiot he would no eager be oneLe Figaro I suppose said tho preacher a little vat of patience that when the last trump blows It TTfU find a good many of my congregation asleep Well replied one of the deacons I reckon It all depends de-pends on who Is doing the preaching at that particular moment Yonkers Statesman States-man manThor Thor paid the energetic lady It takes a woman to save money I went and gay that plumber such a talking to that he reduced his bill 55 I know you did sighed tho husband He sent a bill of 12 to the office today for the time you took up In arguIng with him Cincinnati Enquirer HeY views on bringing up a family She Never mind your views Ill bring up the family You go and bring up tho coal Spare Moments There Is nothing like our House of Lords boasted the Englishman Still you cant say that It Is without a peer replied the American Pitrs burg ChronicleTelegraph |