| Show 1 FRAGILE CREATURE I CREATUREI 1 Cynical Doctors Idea of Delicate Deli-cate Girls WHAT IT COSTS TO KEEP ONE I I i She Consumes Over Fortyfive eons of liquids and Solids urine Sixty Years A Startler A cynical doctor withal a man of won 3erful resources and a quick mind lives nn one of the avenues on the South Side i He was in his study a few nights ago when a young man came in and began questionIng question-Ing him about the propriety of marrying 1 The young man foolishly raved over his sweetheart and called her angelic and soon so-on He was afraid that she was too fragile for this world The old doctor grunted I 1 Fragile eh2 he asked How fragile Ever test her fragility Let mo give you tome figures pliut hor and womankind in general showing how fragile they are Let us suppose that this piece of perfection Is in moderately good health She will live to be say CO years old Women dont like to die any more than men donot as muchfor women never grow old you know Listen to me She will eat one pound of beef mutton or some other flesh every day Thats GG5 pounds of meat in a year yearIn sixty years its 21900 pounds Hows that for fragile She will eat as much bread and as much vegetables per diem and there you have in sixty years 43800 pounds of bread and meat If she is not too angelic she will drink daily no less d than two quarts of coffee or tea And by the time she is ready to have a monument she will have consumed 175 hogsheads of p liquids Fragile 2 Now young man these figures do not include the forty or fifty lambs she will worry down with mint sauce It does not 4 take into consideration the 2000 spring t chickens the 300 pounds of butter the 50000 eggs and the four hogsheads of sugar she will consume in sixty years It doesnt take into consideration her ice cream her oystersher clams and such All this means about fortyfive tons Fragile Think of your affinity in connection with these figures and then rave over her being fragile Young man you are a fool Boof 1 Chicago Tribune |
