WAS GLAD HE CAME MAN WITH BLOOD IN EYE INTERESTED INTER-ESTED LAWYER. Belligerent On Cam a an Acceptable Accept-able Diversion to Monotony end Dreary Grind In Life of TM Disciple of Blackiton. "I have come," said t lie Urge man who had entered the law office and bolted the door after ulm, "to give you the worst' whipping you ever had In your life. I've Just served three months In Jail and you sent me there, and I'm going to make soup bones of you If I awing for It." "Have you considered the consequences, conse-quences, my friend?" asked the im 1. pallid lawyer, as Le put down the large book he had been reading. "You shouldn't undertake a contract of such a character without being familiar fa-miliar with all tho legal phases of the matter. In an action for assault and battery, such as would certainly be brought against you, malice afore thought would be easily shown. Where an assault occurs under stress of great excitement or provocation. Judges and Juries regard the defendant defend-ant leniently, but where the attack has been deliberately planned, as !n this case, and where threats of extreme ex-treme bodily violence have been uttered, ut-tered, the verdict Is bound to be severe. se-vere. 1 am trying to present the case to you In non technical terms, purely for your own good." "IxHs you care about my own good," grumbled the belligerent visitor. vis-itor. "I don't want any of your advice. ad-vice. 1 am going to smash you the best I know how, so cctne from behind be-hind that desk." "Have you considered," asked the lawyer, "that when inflicting punishment punish-ment upon me you are liable to aus-tain aus-tain severe Injuries yourcelf? Not that I would resist, for that "vould bo hoM'less. Hut the human brad Is largely composed of bon' and the fist that hits It Is apt to be broken. You surely have read of the numerous prlzellgnters who have broken their arms In the ring? If a prizefighter sustains such Injuries, what can an ordinary citizen hope for? "Moreover, my head Is unusually bony and many of ''ie bones are angular, and I feel sure that yot would break your wrist or some of your fingers, at least, "here was an Interesting case chronicled In the Southeastern Law Reiwrter a few weeks ago. A citizen whose name t bave forgotten assaulted his family attorney and broke his arm. He was sent to the penitentiary for the assault as-sault and his arm had to be amputated. ampu-tated. Think of spending years In the penitentiary minus an arm" "I'm willing to take the chancea Here goes" When the visitor recovered his faculties he was curled up on the floor and the lawyer was seated upon his bosom, holding a piece of lead ple in one hand. "The next time you contemplate an attack upon a learned and eloquent attorney," said the lawyer, "be sure to commit the assault first and discuss dis-cuss your grievances afterward. I knew I had this length of lead pipe somewhere In my desk, but I couldn I remember in which drawer I bad placed It. However, you gave me plenty of time to find It. and here we are, having an excellent, lomfortable time. aDd merry men r.re we. I can't tell you how glad I am that you came up to see me. The chief drawback of a lawyer's life Is the Intolerable monotony. mo-notony. Think, my dear sir, of the dreary round of duties which make up his existence!" "Let me op." begged the formerly belligerent visitor. "I've had enough." "All in good season, my friend. So many hours a day In his dingy office! of-fice! So many hours in the sepulchral sepul-chral courtroom! That Is the story of the lawyer's day. He loses track of human emotions, human passions, human ambitions, save as he encounters encoun-ters them in dreary books. None but a lawyer can understand what a blessing bless-ing It Is to see a man come In. as you came In, looking for trouble! Yon bave renewed my youth! You have made me a man again, when I was becoming a machine! Rise up. William Wil-liam Riley, or whatever your name Is, end kindly permit me to kick you all the way down stairs!"