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Show It'M fciJ i. - j ' j 'J 'r'- - Sxk-1- rM afrit iW Notes of an Innocent Bystander: Haw! Phil Baker tells about the six-year-old who was tugging a suitcase suit-case down Central Park West. The corner cop stopped her and asked where she was going. "My Daddy and Mummy were having a fight," explained the child. "Mummy told Daddy to go to Tim-buctoo, Tim-buctoo, and Daddy told Mummy to go some place else. So, I left home nobody's sticking ME with any two-year two-year lease!" Forecast for 1942: From Jay Franklin's colyum in Richmond, Va.: "Walter Winchell will cease to write about Cafe Society because it won't exist. Walter Lippmann will write the best columns of his life and nobody no-body will read them. Mark Sullivan will be drafted into Government service to help administer the nationwide food-stamp plan. Dorothy Doro-thy Thompson will fight it out with Clare Boothe Luce for the role of Julia Ward Howe or Florence Nightingale. Night-ingale. David Lawrence will continue con-tinue to do his stuff so long as he can find papers to print it, after which he will join the USO and work in a canteen. Raymond Clapper will gain in courage and, breaking with Roy Howard, will emerge as a real columnist. Morning Mail: "Dear Walter: So chorus, girls never become famous just notorious, eh? The Winchell you say! Howz about Ruby Keeler, Barbara Stanwyck, Virginia Bruce, Gladys Glad, Ina Claire and Joan Crawford? Go stand in a corner, but don't get me wrong. I'm a former Hellzapoppin' chorine, and I have good reason to be nuts about W.W. Margie Young, Banjo Eyes." THERE ARE MANY examples of clever headline-writing. We think this is one of the best: When John Mase-field Mase-field arrived here from England where he was poet laureate, he refused to grant newspaper men an interview . . . So one evening paper ran this streamer: "King's Canary Refuses to Chirp" which made a better story than the interview in-terview could have been. From the ediloruil page of the N. Y. Post: "If Adolf Hitler captured Our Town, which are the first ten Neiv Yorkers York-ers he would hang? . . . Certain names will spring to your mind at once. Dorothy Doro-thy Thompson? Walter Winchell?" Ladies first, of course. Capt. Patrick Smith, whose articles arti-cles on Japan were of great benefit to the U. S., is now an American and ready for any service the country wishes . . . Salute to the National Maritime Union: The one Union whose members do more than work for the country. They die for it! . . . "Banjo Eyetm": Leona Olsen of the chorus and Ben Bernie's boy, Jason, have called the whole thing spinach . . . ,J. Dorsey's manager and the chief arranger bare-fisted it this week ... A foreign playboy, who told the El Morocco, Stork, Fefe's and other debbies he was from Holland, was collared by the FBI as a Berliner . . . Spring is really here. All 3 hatcheck gals at Iceland became brides last week. Gosh, Yes! Al Bernie says you hear so little of John Nance Garner you'd think he was still Vice-President! Journalism's biggest laugh in a long time came when Sec'y Knox's paper published a competitor's personal per-sonal letter to a reader. In which the rival boasted of many things he claimed he did in the interest of the nation . . . Knox's paper played up the conceited letter with the headline: head-line: "Whatta Man!" . . . When Knox saw it he was disappointed . . . "The slug 'Whatta Man!' was not so good," he said ... 'It should have said: 'And On The Seventh Day He Rested!' " Sounds in the Night: At La Conga: "A bore is a guy who wraps up a two-minute idea in a two-hour vocabulary" vocab-ulary" ... At Iceland: "Since we have MacArthur and so many Yanks there, why don't they call it UStra-lia?" UStra-lia?" . . At Roseland: "Hey, where has Ripley been all your life?" ... In the Cub: "He's gotten to a point in his career where the only way you can insult him is to ignore him" ... At LaMartinique: "Frustrated? "Frus-trated? She's practically strangling from her halo" ... At Spivy's: "It's one of those improbable things. Like Tallulah getting stage fright" ... In the Hickory House: "She uses her eyebrow pencil to draw little lit-tle question marks over her eyes" ... In the 1-2-3: "The gay life's worn her out like a piece of used confetti" ... In Versailles: "You can't have everything. Even a friendly slap on the back has its sting." Tee-Hee: Elsa Maxwell, the nicest blimp in town, approached a Rainbow Rain-bow Room table group. Maestro Leo Reisman greeted her with: "Where have you been all these weeks?" "Helping the Gov't design some new tanks," explained Elsa. "Really?" meow'd a deb. "I didn't know you'd taken up modeling." Jimmy Walker says: "The Freedom Free-dom of the Press is too often confused con-fused with the freedom of the publisher." |