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Show VMl V Ii, Uburnhd ahovt OANTA MONICA, CALIF O So soon as this, with both tickets just put up, folks already are saying this is starting start-ing out to be a bitter campaign the bitterest, perhaps, since away back in 1896. My guess Is these prophets don't realize the twentieth part of It. I m reminded of what C.;; ;i happened when my old friend, Col. Bill Hayward, sailed with his negro regiment regi-ment for France during the war. Tha outfit embarked em-barked at night Next morning, when the transport was well out at sea a . pop-eyed trooper . from the interior IrvmS.Cobb South stood staring at the endless watery expanse. "Boy!" he exclaimed to a companion, com-panion, "dis sho' is one big ocean!" "Mos doubtless," stated the second sec-ond soldier, "but, son, whut you's lookin' at now is only jes de top layer." The Union Party AT CLEVELAND there was harmony har-mony and a quiet interment for the old Guard. At Philadelphia the proceedings moved along on greased rollers. But for real excitement, ex-citement, wait until that new Union party holds its convention. Then will be the signal to remove the women and children to a place of safety. Just consider who'll be there: The inflationists who think that, as long as we have government engraving en-graving plants and printing presses, money should be plentiful. . The group committed to the idea that, if the farmer won't do something for himself, something should be done for the farmer. Doctor Town-send, Town-send, with his project to provide old age pensions for everybody over sixty except Congressman McGoar-ty. McGoar-ty. Father Coughlin, calling for social so-cial justice and better radio hookups. hook-ups. Huey Long's successor, who'd share the wealth and make every man a king. AI Smith's Strategy AS AN old-time headliner of political po-litical vaudeville, Al. Smith should have known better than to pull that ancient wheeze shooting at Philadelphia letter carriers on a Sunday afternoon. . And besides, think of the desperate desper-ate chance he and his supporting quartet of sharpshooters took: come between a mother panther and her cubs; come between a Frenchman and his fracas; come between a radio announcer and his elocution, but never, right on the eve of their national convention, try to come between a flock of office-holding office-holding Democrats and the prospect pros-pect of four more uninterrupted years of the same. Trouble of Travelers OUTSIDE the larger cities, when a hotel manager wishes to show a special guest special attention, atten-tion, he assigns him to the bedchamber bed-chamber of state which usually is on the second floor, invariably is at the front of the house and nearly always on the corner where electric elec-tric signs twinkle merrily till daylight in the poor sleepless wretch's eyes. And along toward 2 a. m. a party named Dewey, standing in the street below, will start telling a party named Pink, about sumpin mighty comical that's come up Sad'day night whereupon Pink will be moved to recall a few social reminiscences of his own. Convention Invocations A LTHOUGH a southerner how-ever, how-ever, not working at the trade as steadily as some I have to snicker when a Democratic senator walks out on his own convention because a colored preacher asks the divine blessing on its deliberations. delibera-tions. Which reminds me: The first time that great Texan, Jim Hogg, ran for the governorship his party split The bolters joined with the Republican outfit mostly most-ly black to put up a fusion ticket At this pinto convention, the Rev. "Sin Killer" Griffin, a famous black evangelist, delivered the Invocation. Invoca-tion. In concluding, he threw an unexpected bombshell into the piebald pie-bald ranks by earnestly urging the Lord to put Hogg in the governor's chair. Terrific uproar ensued. Finally a dusky stalwart got the floor. "I moves," he bellowed, "dat dis yere traitorsome and on-Republik-in prayer be expunged from de record." Majestically, "Sin Killer" erected himself. "I rises," he stated, "to a p'int of order.. It's too late to expunge frum de record a prayer which already al-ready done got to heaven more'n five minutes ago." IUVIN S. COBB. C--"WNU SorTlco. |