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Show Here's what to expect for rest of campaign the editor's column By MARC HADDOCK Hold onto your hats, folks! Campaign '88 is entering its final week, and given the nature of this year's no-holds-barred electioneering, elec-tioneering, we could see records set for name calling, mud slinging and the other niceties of the political process. It's nice to have one of the lowest presidential campaigns in recent memory to set the tone for the kinds of stuff we're going to hear locally over the next few days. As it was so succinctly put in the Denver Post: "Americans are forced to choose between two good men running two bad campaigns." We can expand that in Utah, where voters will be asked to choose between a lot of good people runningbad campaigns. (This does not apply at the local level, where candidates can discuss the issues without trashing their opponents.) Why, just today Brian Moss sent me a press release telling us that his opponent, Orrin Hatch (yes, Hatch is opposed again this year), has abandoned consumers using four or five of Hatch's votes in the Senate as proof. And since "Consumer protection is a family issue," according to the news release, Hatch is by association associa-tion anti-family. The Senator would take issue with that, but he is being "held hostage" in Washington so he can't comebacktoUtahandcampaign not that it will make any difference. differ-ence. Utahns, for the most part, love Orrin Hatch. This election was president. Our three-way governor's race has provided more than three-times three-times the mud of the your typical campaign, hasn't it? You can't even get away from the races that you don't care about. I'm tired of Snelgrove's whining about Wayne Owens. I know more about Jim Hansen and Gunn McKay than anyone outside of Weber County has a right to know after all, every two years we get to hear these two gentlemen take off the gloves and carry out the political process as if it were a street fight. The only national race that's quiet is the one between Howard Nielson and Robert Stringham and that's because no one is aware that either one is running for anything. any-thing. I don't want to hear Paul Van Dam say what a lily-livered attorney attor-ney general David Wilkinson is, and I don't want to read about any more major charges filed less than two weeks before the election just so we can be sure Wilkinson isn't. And aren't you sick of hearing about the tax initiatives from either side. If this election came tomorrow, it wouldn't be soon enough. Personally, I'm about fur-loughed fur-loughed and pledge-of-allegienced to death. I'm turning off the television televi-sion this next week. And you can too. Just to help you, I'll give you a taste of what is in store. Both major presidential candidates candi-dates will predict the end of hu manity as we know it if the other is elected. Predictions will become more ominous as Tuesday nears first the world, then the universe, will be in danger of immediate nonexistence. non-existence. Please, don't believe any of this. In the governor's race, Bangerter will hold a press conference confer-ence in a bombed out downtown buildingin Salt Lake and say it was Ted Wilson's fault. Wilson will have a press conference confer-ence in front of the Great Salt Lake pumps, and say it was Bangerter's fault. Cook will hold a press conference confer-ence and, waving a magic wand, will inform us that he has a plan to cut taxes in half while doubling tax revenues just trust him. Proponents of Initiatives A, B and C will claim that you can't trust anyone except cook even your next door neighbor - and if the initiatives fail, our taxes will automatically auto-matically double. Opponents will tell us that if the initiatives pass, all schools will close and we'll have our kids home all day long. Talk about scare tactics! tac-tics! The bottom line is it is all pretty silly - isn't it? I'll be glad when it's all over. In the meantime, I'm going to spend the week in bed with the covers pulled up over my head. I'll only get out next Tuesday to vote against all the people I don't want to see elected. Isn't our system of government a wonderful thing? over before it began. On the national front, George Bush is reveling in Michael Dukakis' admission that he is a liberal, in the tradition of Roosevelt, Roosev-elt, Kennedy and others. What an amazing admission somewhat like Pope John Paul II informing the world that he is Catholic, and then some other religious re-ligious leader jumping : on the admission as if it were proof of a hideous criminal activity. But you can bet youH hear a lot of what has become known as the "L" word over the next few days as if it belonged in the same class as a man who puts on lacy underwear. (No letters from men who wear lacy underwear, please.) And we'll hear plenty about "Li'l Danny" Quayle and the threat he poses to our nation as if he weren't man enough for the job of |
