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Show I can't afford much amuscmont and , I enjoy looking at the pictures and hearing hire talk." Washington SUir. Not a Doubt About That. Sutton I can't sparo the money very well, but I'll lend It to you if you promise not to keep it too lone. Gayeboy I'll undertake to spend evry penny of It before tomorrow morning. YVashlngtonia. Fruitless Struggling. "I understand that after waiting twenty years she married a struggling young man?" "Yes. poor chap. He strurgled the bet he know how. but sho landed him. Ignoring the Landlord. "1 wonder who originated the expression ex-pression 'reckoned without his host'?" "Probably it was some deluded summer sum-mer hotel guest who tried to figure out for himself what his bill was going to b." Catholic Standard and Times. No Trouble. "Have you had any serious trouble with your new automobile?" "Not a bit. So far I haven't hit a single man without being able to yet to get away before be gets my num-bor." num-bor." Cleveland Leader. JUST FOR FUN Porter'a Mlctake, George Ad says that on a trip from New Orleans h noticed one man with the largest feet he had ever seen. Mr. Ade added: "In the morning It was discovered that the porter had shlned or.o shoe and his unit case." Kan6aa City Star. Bad Break. "Beautiful girl," cried the ImpulBlvo young man on the shadowy deck of the lake steamer. "Nonsense!" laughed the pretty maid. "Beauty Is but skin deep." "Ah, would that thou were a hippopotamus." hip-popotamus." "Sir!" The lapping of the waves grew J fainter. It seemed aa though ho was sitting on an Iceberg, so frigid were tho surroundings. "That Is, I mean well, you know a hippo's skin fudge! A hlppo'B skin la thick dreadfully thick and If beauty Is skin deep and you had the skin of a hippo, why or you'd be that mcch rnoro beautiful. Do I make niyself plain, Miss Evangeline?" "Yes, sir; you make yourself out to bo the plainest dunce I ever saw. I shall never speak to you again." And tho moon man wept. Chicago News. Such Caraleesnew A Sunday passenger on a Staten Island Isl-and ferry-boat studied out a complaint com-plaint sufficiently Important to moke the commissioner of docks and his assistants as-sistants lake noUce. She hunted up a deck hand and directed his attention to the life preservers stored In the deck cclllnc. "Just look at these tilings?" sho paid. ( "What's the matter with 'em?" he asked. , "Malter?" sho sa'd. "They're dirty. They ought to b washed. If a woman wom-an with a nice summer dress on bad to put one of thoae dusty things on over It It would never be fit to wear again." New York Sun. The BIJght of Luxury. "Ton don't want to elect that man again." paid Iho person who will stoop to any device. "Jle Is wholly unfitted unfit-ted to represent you. Yv"hy. I saw him eating pie with a knife!" "I cues you're r!-ht." rep'led Farm-1 er Corntossel. "When ho was out j here among us plain people he didn't J want no silver plated Implement. He'd grab Ma pie In hi naked ftst, Jos' like one of us feller citizens," Washington Washing-ton Star. Busy All the Time. Little Howard came in the other day. crying and rubbing ""vnl bumps caused by a series of "butts' administered admin-istered by a pet sheen. "Well. Howard." said his sympathetic sympa-thetic auntie, "what did you do when the sheep knocked you do-vn?" "I didn't do anything. 1 was getting get-ting up all the time. The Delineator. Gentle Hint. "Dear me," said the pretty girl In tho orchard. "Peaches always cause i me to smack mv Hps " I "Indeed!" laurbed the young man ! nt her side. "Well, there are some j 'peaches' that cane me to smack their Hps." And then he got busy. Chicago News. j Resignation Justified. "So you resigned?" "Yes. I couldn't stand the way tho Arm treated mo." "What did ther do?" "Took my name off the pay roll." Washington Star. He Knew. "Mv daughter. Olodvs Mo, has he- ' come nnlto an elocutionist." "Yes." neevMi'v renlld thp next door neighbor, "so I hear." Puck. A Deadlock. I "What makes vm tell thnt book pfopt n call a'w'n'' You have no Idea of limine- his book." "No." answered Mr. Pennlwlse. "hut ' I |