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Show JUST FOR FUN Tangled Home. Mra. Ilaskcr How la your friend, Mr. Wallmnn? Haskei Poorly; he's home sick. Mrs. Hasker Homesick! Then why doesn't ho po home? Hasker Ho is home. Didn't I just tell you he was? Mrs. Hasker You satd he was homesick, and I don't understand how he can be homesick and home at the same time. Hasker I didn't say he was homesick. home-sick. I ald he was home sick. Mrs. Hasker You didn't pay he was homesick, but said he was homesick. What do you mean by such nonsense? Hasker (impatiently) I said he. was home and sick at home. Mrs. Hasker Gracious! Why didn't you explain In the first place? Judge. Yielding to the Majority. A Philadelphia phjslclan. in declar log that Insanity was frequently productive pro-ductive of sound logic tempered by wit, told the story of a patient he once met in an asylum. He came across this patient while strolling through the grounds, and 6topplng, spoke to him. After a brief conversation on conventional topics the physician said: "Why are you here?" "Simply a difference of opinion," replied re-plied tho patient. "I said all men were mad, and all men said I was mad and the majority won." Llppin-cott's. Llppin-cott's. Certainly Not Preaent. It was In one of the colored schools of Baltimore, and tho teacher was an Inexperienced one. There was talking among the little negroes before her. "I want absolute silence," she said severely. Still the. talking continued. "I want absolute silence," she repeated re-peated again. At the third demand one very smah girl apoke up boldly. "Assalute Silence ain't hyar," she said. "She's got de toofache." Lip-plncott's Lip-plncott's Magazine. Out of the Picture. "How pleasant it must be to sit before be-fore a blazing fire while the wind vainly rage6 outside." "Yes," answered Parmer Corntos sol. "I 'spose it would be right pleasant." pleas-ant." "Why, you ought to know. You live In the country." "Yes, but I ain't the feller that sits by the Are. I'm the feller that fetches In the wood." Washington Star. In For It. "I guess I'm a bum conversationalist" conversational-ist" "How now?" "I happened to remark that opals are unlucky and then she mentioned a hole Blrlng of other precious stones that have no drawback whatever what-ever attached." Kansas City Journal. Jour-nal. The Dote Ho Preferred. Doctor Now mind, my man, four drops of this mixture three times a day, and inhale Garge Must I take It In hale, zur? I drinks porter as a rule. Tit-Bite. An Ungrateful Wretch. "Don't you think smoking a disagreeable dis-agreeable habit?" "It Is," answered Mr. Oroucher, "if you- try it with 'Merry Christmas' cigars." Exchange. A Common Weakness. Landlady Yes, I must confess I have a weakness for coffee. Boarder" It must be sympathetic; the coffee has the earno quality. Meg-gendorfer Meg-gendorfer Blatter. |