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Show Kathleen Norris Says: The Problem of Sally Kent , Bell Syndicate. WNU Features. "Pack a suitcase with comfortable clothes and a box with provisions, and put them in the old car. Then say to him, 'get in, we're going places,'and head west." By KATHLEEN NORRIS "A yj"Y HUSBAND has I come home so J- V J. changed, after two years in active service as a marine," writes Sally Kent, "that I find myself for the first time in my life with a problem that is too difficult for me to solve. I wonder if other women wom-en are facing like troubles, now that the war is over, and if you have helped them and can help me. "I am 31," the letter goes on. "David is two years older. old-er. He was drafted in 1942, and left me with a baby girl of three and another baby coming. com-ing. We were both anxious .that he should do his share as 'a soldier, and I tried to do mine at home. We moved to my mother's house, and there my son was born just two years ago. Mother keeps boarders; I had helped her all through my girlhood and took my old place now; planning meals, marketing, making beds, and superintending the changing personnel in the kitchen. "Mother has always prospered, and in crowded war times she prospered pros-pered exceedingly. My weekly budget bud-get to David a few lines anyway every day, and often pages were always cheerful, and snapshots of Di and Jimmy kept him in touch with their progress. This was for me as for many wives a lonely lone-ly time, a time with anxious moments, mo-ments, but a time of much deep happiness, too. Mother's life has never been easy she found this interval in-terval refreshing and delightful, and the children were wonderful. Dislikes Boarding-house. "David came home willing to accept ac-cept all this, but within a few days I knew something was wrong, and now everything is wrong. He doesn't like living in a boarding-house, he thinks Diana is badly spoiled and he seems completely indifferent to the baby. Of course the children did not know him, and when a dark, thin, nervous daddy was added to their little scheme, they didn't like it. "I try to make allowances for the war-worn nerves of a man who has known nothing of home life for more than two years; I try to keep things serene and cheerful, and of course it Is understood that as soon as he resumes work and is able to support sup-port It, we will have our own home again. "But this is not enough. He wants me to leave the children and go away with him. Where doesn't seem to matter. He wants to go West, to buy a farm, to pioneer In the Canadian north, to do anything except ex-cept settle down here, realize how lucky he is to have a comfortable home, no immediate financial pressure, pres-sure, and a devoted wife. "Obviously, this is just what I can't do. I'd like a change myself, I'm not in love with bedmaking and dusting. But you can't pioneer with-two with-two small children as companions, and financially any such change would be a desperate chance. "We love each other; there isn't any triangle complication; when we take long walks together, as we do in the evenings, there isn't any quarrelling quar-relling or unpleasantness. But it all comes out to this; David wants me to throw away the security I have built up so painfully and slowly In all these long months. I want him to return to normal he is certainly not normal now. Please advise a woman wom-an anxious to save her marriage, and the man sha loves, if she can." My advice, Sally, Ii compromise. i Bt doesn't likt boarding-house. UNSETTLED That strange and frightening frighten-ing change that comes over men after they have been in military service for two or three years is a great trial to their wives. Women who have been waiting for weary and anxious months to end, suddenly sud-denly find their dream of a happy future shattered. Here , is her husband home at Idst, and for good, but he is so different! dif-ferent! He is not the man who said goodby so siveetly and sadly on that awful day when he left for overseas. No, he is not the same. He is moody and querulous, unable un-able or unwilling to fit into civilian life. Nothing pleases him. He is indifferent to his loving wife's best efforts. Often he has some outlandish scheme, like moving to some distant part of the country and trying a completely new business. busi-ness. The story in this issue concerns con-cerns a returned soldier flamed David. He wants to leave their two children with someone, anyone, just so they are cared for, while he and Sally go West, to look for a farm. He also thinks about pioneering in the Canadian northwest. Farming is completely new to him, but he wants to do almost al-most anything except to settle back to his old job in the old town, t We American women will have to do a lot of compromising if we are to help our returning servicemen to re-adjust themselves to conditions that seem strangely smug, safe, self-satisfied to them, after the horrors hor-rors and loneliness and abnormality of war. Head West in Car. Get someone to look after your babies, no matter what .you have to pay her. Pack a suitcase with comfortable com-fortable clothes and a box with provisions, pro-visions, and put them in the old car. Then say to him, "get in, we are going places," and head west. Years ago a nervous husband I knew got this treatment my own husband, in fact and before we had gone a hundred miles he was beginning begin-ning the cure, quiet, amused, expectant, expec-tant, happy. We drove 6,000 miles, the most inexpensive travelling there is, except on foot. The most thrilling, for you may stop anywhere, any-where, eat when you like, try anything. any-thing. I You'll find your old companion beside be-side you sooner than you dream is possible. You find him rested, I soothed and presently eager and alert again. You'll talk plans, explain ex-plain away difficulties, share problems. prob-lems. You'll agree that Diana is a little spoiled; that there is no place for a young couple like their own home; you'll say the baby is exactly exact-ly like his dad. Give him a six-weeks break. Give yourself the same. November is beautiful travelling weather, and a marriage like yours is worth saving. |