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Show Kathleen Norris Says: American Women Are Different Boll ByndlcaM. WNU Feuturm. She never thinks of a family as a great all-embracing institution, where an older woman and a very much older man of right belong. By KATHLEEN NORRIS WHAT is there in the American make-up that causes us to demand de-mand perfection, and be dis-satified dis-satified with anything short of it? I don't mean just the domestic do-mestic perfection of fine sheets and clean rooms, matching curtains and well-cooked well-cooked meals. I mean something some-thing deep inside that destroys de-stroys the peace of mind of 9 of our women out ofevery 10. Perhaps 99 women out of every ev-ery 100. Why is it that American women enjoy real happiness only in brief snatches that are interspersed with long stretches of discontent and restlessness, frustration and sometimes some-times despair? French women, Italian women, women of the Scandinavian countries coun-tries know no such misery. Each one of these accepts her destiny, lives in it and with it contentedly, contented-ly, mixes her good salads, simmers her good soups, mends and washes and airs the same old linens year after year, wears for years her substantial sub-stantial dress and warm shawl, chats with her neighbors in the market mar-ket place, savors to the full all the simple joys of living. Humbly Content. So much for the European women. As for the Orientals, they live on so different a scale that there simply is no comparison. I knew one Chinese woman who carried with her wherever she went a fur rug and a three-legged iron pot. "With these Chen Ling at home anywhere, Missy," she said. "I put 'em down, I no see 'em again." How old the fur rug was I do not know. The cooking pot was more than 100 years old. Families in Europe live in the homes their ancestors established, often with as many of those ancestors ances-tors as are living. Chairs and tables and tea-pots last for generations. A deep inner content in, family life makes these things sacred. The domestic group shifts, enlarges changes; it is all good living to the busy, beloved, important woman of the house, whether she is hanging out snowy linens, gathering windfall wind-fall apples, welcomiing the new baby, robing herself in sepulchural black to follow the coffins of the dead. It is her life, and she likes it, and lives it to the full. Even the English are much less demanding of circumstances and fate than we are. "I've had my husband's mother with me since I was married," said an English woman whose children are almost grown. "Bob had three boys when I married him," said another, an-other, "so although I was only 18 I've never been to a real dance." "Because my mother and father were invalids Joe and I waited 11 years before we could marry," a third said cheerfully. Incidentally, this patient woman has now a very high position, and she and Joe are an example of happy married life. But she had to wait for itl Contrasted with all these women are some in this country who write me letters about conditions that are not only perfectly normal, but temporary. tem-porary. Our women seem unable to endure any burdens or inconveniences inconveni-ences at all! She doesn't want to be a matriarch. COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS This is the richest country in the world. There is more of everything here than anywhere any-where else. Even peo pie considered consid-ered poor by American standards stand-ards live on a scale that is the envy of most Europeans, and of all Orientals. Every American Ameri-can knoivs all this. Yet American Ameri-can women are the most discontented dis-contented in the world. Those who are most favored often seem the most unhappy. In Europe women have become be-come accustomed to acceptance accept-ance of their lot.. Hardships, poverty, illness, crowded conditions, con-ditions, governmental oppression oppres-sion all this they accept as part of life. They try to make the best of it, and are thankful for any good fortune. They bear up under difficulties that would send an American woman wom-an to the insane asylum. Oriental Ori-ental women have almost unbelievable un-believable endurance. They are poor beyond our conception, concep-tion, and must struggle hard for mere survival. Yet they are generally cheerful and uncomplaining. un-complaining. Seeking the Unattainable. Many a woman cheats herself out of happiness, dignity, success as a human being by an impatient sense that she must always be struggling for something unattainable. She must get rid of this piece of furniture furni-ture and have those others re-covered. She must tear down the curtains cur-tains and sent the dessert plates to the rummage sale. Her dining room is actually repulsive to her because of the old-fashioned light-fixtures. She never thinks of a family as a great all - embracing institution, where and older woman and a very much older man of right belong; be-long; where two small motherless sisters may find refuge, and visiting visit-ing cousins be cared for in a general joyous scramble of made-up cots and extended dinner-table. To be offered the part of a matriarch, in the movies, would seem to her delightful, but to play that part in real life oilers her no attractions. So each family splits into separated sepa-rated units; each newly married couple entertains only its own few selected friends; each bride feels that every hour her husband's mother moth-er spends in her house is a distinct concession on her part. She fights her fight alone, cooks the company dinner single-handed, scrambles the children to bed, rushes upstairs to change her gown; the old gracious hospitality, shared by old and young, with grandfather in his own chair, and the children coming downstairs for dessert, is a thing of the past. Less stress on material things, more cultivation of the spiritual values val-ues in human relationships, would make for us all a deeper, fuller sort of living, a surer safeguard in home ties, less danger far less danger, ot those constant cure-all trips to Reno, which are the gateway to a more intense unhappiness. Comfort While Ironing Home management specialists at Cornell U. say there's no rule-of-thumb method you can use to select a comfortable ironing board height. That's just something you have to work out for yourself. But their study shows you'll be less tired if you do adjust your ironing board to a hcinlit that's comfortable for you. And if several members of the family are using the ironing board . . . you need one that can be adjusted ad-justed to dilTcrent heights. Adjustable Adjust-able boards are now being made. |