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Show Kathleen Norris Says: Just Like a Husband Bell Syndicate. WNU Features. "Carol squabbled with Monro over dominoes and crosswords. I was delighted at this new friend's congeniality with my husband; it relieved tbt strain for me." By KATHLEEN NORRIS SOMETIMES a husband does something that makes his wife wild, without giving her the satisfaction satis-faction of either ignoring the matter or changing the situation. situa-tion. Such a husband, evidently, evident-ly, is Monroe White, whose wife, Edda, writes me from Buffalo. "Monroe has a dear woman friend, that's the gist of the matter." mat-ter." writes Edda. "That sounds innocent in-nocent enough, doesn't it? Nothing sinister, everything happily open and above board, but there it is. Carol is everything he needs In gay, sophisticated companionship; he sees her every day. Or if he misses seeing her for a day or two he gets restless; last summer Carol went into the mountains for a month and three times In that month Monroe went up to see her on one pretext or another. Once he took me, and you may Imagine what a lovely time I had. "This Carol Is about 30. I am 38. Monroe is 39, and we have been married 15 years. We have two daughters, Phyllis. 11, and Mary-ann, Mary-ann, 9. Monroe Is a cheerful, easily pleased man, not fussy about meals, very popular in business and club circles. He has always been a model husband as far as I know and a conscientious father. When my mother was with us, a long pull with three years of helplessness help-lessness and Illness, Monroe was generosity itself. I think it was at that time that I began to hear a good deal of Monroe's dear old friend, Carol, widowed, and back in town. Carol often came to supper In those days, and squabbled with Monroe over dominoes and crosswords. cross-words. Absorbed in my mother's tragedy, 1 was delighted at this new friend's congeniality with my hus-band; hus-band; it relieved the strain for me. Unconcealed, Unashamed. "It went on. Nothing to conceal, evidently, nothing of which to be ashamed. Carol telephones me every day or two to say that she saw a hat downtown that would be ideal for me, or that she Is sending the girls books. Monroe says quite casually, TU not be home for dinner, din-ner, Carol is crazy to see that show and I'm taking her.' Or he says 'The Masons have asked Carol and me up for the weekend. I told them we had measles at home and they said it was O.K. tor you to beg off.' "Sometimes he says that Carol Is the most Intellectual womnn he ever knew. If I say that she is not particularly pretty or has rather a heavy figure, he says with amused authority that men find her perfectly per-fectly fascinating. Once or twice he has said to his friends that he has a sensible wife; lhat Edda never makes any fuss about his platonic friendships with other women. He puts It in the plural. I put it in the singular. "I am good-looking, I dress well, nothing sensational but quite up to ti'e mark. What's the matter with me that my husband is perfectly content to let me cook, finish the ironing, keep house, entertain his friends, drag him off for an occasional occa-sional dinner but that for companionship compan-ionship and glamor he goes elsewhere." else-where." And the letter finishes desperately: "Can a man and a woman have a platonic friendship, anyway?" Khn Thinks It's Fair Play. My answer to that, Edd.i, Is "no." Not under these clrcum- "l am good-looking, dress u ell." i stances, no. With Monroe at his age. Carol at hers, and your marriage mar-riage at this point, this friendship Is not platonic. This is not to say that matters have proceeded to the point technically tech-nically known as Infidelity. More likely Carol is happy to play It along snfc'y, having all the fun of a man's admiration and attention and companionship, but not sacrificing sacri-ficing anything that would make her feel guilty of disloyalty to you. It Is a fond illusion, with women of her type, that everything short of actual surrender to a love affair Is fair play. She Is holding Monroe all the tighter by her refusal to enter Into a serious relationship with the husband of her friend. He probably deeply admires her strength of character and purity of motive. But in truth she is as low as any other woman who comes deliberately between be-tween a man and his wife and throws dust in his eyes while doing so. My advice to you is to wake up and realize that this Is disloyalty, sugared over with the claim ol being merely nn intellectual and honest friendship. Such a thing rarely exists between a man and a woman, even when both are entirely en-tirely free to marry; it certainly does not exist here. You will win, In the end, If you can rise above all this. Keep busy, have as little to do with these high-minded high-minded friends as you can; don't discuss it with Monroe and don't see Carol at all. Ask her quietly not to telephone, don't argue, don't make scenes, Just let them both know that you are perfectly aware of the fun they are having at your expense. The shock to Carol may stop the affair right there; Monroe will be shocked, too. But whether it takes only days or t.iker months, that's the way to end it, and the only way. Don't forget prayer. |