OCR Text |
Show ROMAN CATHOLIC CHURCH DEAD, SAYS PROFESSOR "The church is dead. No creed is gxod enough for acceptance except the 1907 creed," declared Professor Pro-fessor Nathaniel Schmidt, the Biblical scl olar in an address in Ithica, N. Y recently. Dr. Schmidt declared that the Pope's recent encyclical warning the Roman Catholic church of the peril to its existence ex-istence which the tendency to liberalism and heterodox heter-odox creeds involved, instead of retarding the progress prog-ress of liberal thought, pointed out the way to the organization of religious liberalism. Press dispatch. dis-patch. So the Catholic church is dead. Well, peace to its ashes. It centainly lived a strenuous life while it was in the land of the living. It took the pagan races of many nations, among whom dwelt the ancestors of Professor Schmidt, with rings in their nostrils and warlike implements in their hands and made them civilized human beings a few of their descendants subsequently obtaining the title of professor. It built all the great universities of Europe, that is its children did, through its power as a divine organization. It was in existence before be-fore Schmidt saw the light of day and maybe it will come to life again after he is dead. It saw the birth of every government and dynasty in the world today and it saw the death of many others. It also saw the death of a million Schmidts and it is not an extravagant assertion to say that it may witness the passing away, sorrowfully, to be sure, of one more in the lonely hamlet of Ithica, N. Y., and if we could afford it we would be at the obsequies obse-quies and toll the bell as a last act to the really dead. This is startling and sensational news, too, as the police reporter would put it. We never saw a word in the daily press concerning Pope Pius X.'s funeral and the last rites of all the cardinals, bishops, bish-ops, priests, nuns and monks in the world, not to mention the 300,000,000 or so votaries of the True Vine. This is shocking carelessness on the part of the American press, and we feel mortified that so litthvattention should be given to such a multitude multi-tude of funerals. Perchance the journalists were too busy writing up the number of advertising columns col-umns the papers have had this year, or maybe they were caught in midocean on their way to Rome to receive the pontiff's blessing before he should die. Anyway it's a great mysterv this dying of the Catholic Cath-olic church in broad daylight. We do not see how it could do such a heartless thing without at least sayings farewell and letting the Associated Press know about it. Neither did we hear a word appertaining apper-taining to the new 1907 religion which was to take the late lamented's place, no. not a blessed syllable. Maybe Professor Schmidt will enlighten us on this obscure point. Do you multiply 1907 to get it! And when' you do get it, is it a creed and a half or a half creed ? These are all important things to settle after the funeral. Another thing, we wonder how all those thousands. of little orphan throughout through-out the world as well as the innumerable sick patients pa-tients in unnumbered hospitals are progressing without the Catholic sisters to rear the former and nurse the latter, but nrobably our friend the professor pro-fessor will form measures to take care of them. God bless his innocent little head, a regular Henry Clay head, but more clay than anything else. And, by the way, as the professor would say, it was the late lamented Catholic church that first established hospitals and edifices of mercy. And so the Catholic Cath-olic church is dead! Wonder who is going to be pope of the brand new 1907 creed ? Maybe Professor Profes-sor Schmidt, like King Henry VIII., will be its chief. Well, great men are springing up every day and springing down again. There is nothing in the character of the professor to prevent him being the new pope over the new 1907 religion, that is as far as we know, and we know very little of the new Ithica pope, in fact to tell the truth and shame the devil we never heard of the professor before at all. We are anxiously awaiting the new creed's pionun-ciamento. pionun-ciamento. whatever that is. In the meantrme we utter a fervent peace to the late Roman Catholic church, whose funeral took place September 22, 1907. Undertaker Professor Schmidt. Ithica, N. Y. A few prominent socialists and atheists sent flowers for which one survivor thanks them while he stops to wipe away a solitary tear. RICARDO. |