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Show them said to a guy, "I knew you were coming to the right place the minute you walked through the window." Mine asked if my eyes had ever been checked, and I told him no, they'd always been blue. Research just discovered that every seconds a woman gives birth to a child. We've got to find this woman and stop her! six my Favomte jokes There's a new deodorant called Van- disappear and where the odor is wonders everybody ish. Spray it on and you bydANNy kUyMAN They just invented a new miracle drug that's so strong you have to be in perfect health to take it. coming from. NOTE: "Being funny' says Danny Klayman, "is serious business," and he's done this serious comedy busiEDITOR'S neighborhood is so tough, doorman mugged me. My ness in top spots Playboy Club and Palmer House in Chicago; Shoreham Hotel in Washington, D.C.;The Rooster-ta- il and on TV's Douglas in Detroit and Griffin shows and his own syndicated " Klayman Komedy Spot." He lists Si among his assets "a little property in Las luggage" Danny says, "I recently worked in a club full of drunks. Upon leaving, one guy asked the waiter for a doggy glass. Actually, I've read so much about the evils ol drinking that I gave up reading." Here are some of Danny's jokes: toaster?" My The other day I bought some cheese that's so strong it's the first time I ever saw a mouse back into a trap. know one merchant who's so crooked, the wool he pulls over your eyes is 40 percent cotton. I doctor saved my life once. called him to the house and he never showed I My up. in men's clothing, and it's true he's a pickpocket. My friend gave up smoking and sub- stituted chewing toothpicks. He died last week of Dutch elm. disease. brother Wayne tells everyone he's KSKf kids. 1 A guy robs a bank and says to the teller: "This is my first stickup. Don't I get a People are going nuts. One woman shot her husband with a bow and arrow claimed she didn't want to wake the The other day a guy stole a fire engine and got arrested by a guy who stole a police car. Caesars Palace is holding my Vegas my IO , And how about tree surgeons. I just heard one fell out of his patient. Another is doing so well he's opening up branch offices, and a third had to give it up couldn't stand the sight of sap. My best friend had a birthday party, and I helped him drink up all his presents. That night I slept like a log. In the morning I woke up in the fireplace. I truly love kids. Unfortunately, I was an ugly baby. When I was born, the doctor slapped my mother. couples have their spats. One Webster got into an argument, and one word led to another. All night Mr. and Mrs. Eye doctors are fabulous, too. One of OfflJL flUPEIK3E LOT? Introducing "Lifetime!1 A whole new kind mattress pad and protector. of North Star's new 'LIFETIME" mattress pad made by Chatham is unlike any other mattress pad youve ever seen. e Because its unique construction avoids seams, lumps and bumps. There are no seams to tear and the top surface stays fiat and smooth. Because its Fiberwoven of 1 00 Polyester for toughness. And comfort. And an absorbent top surface. Because the bottom surface is Scotchgard treated for additional mattress protection. And because its machine washable and dryable with shrinkage controlled to 2 or less. For consistently great fit. In both fitted and anchor-ban- d styles. And in twin, full, queen and king sizes. "LIFETIME has earned the Good Housekeeping seal. Itll last you a long, long time. Chatham Mfg. Co. 1 1 1 W. 40th Street, New York, N Y. 10018. North Star's LIFETIME" by one-piec- , C?hatJuzm KtrHundrrdrtiVrtf For the participating dealer nearest you CALL ANYTIME TOLL FREE 800-243-60- 00 Conn call 1 Dial as you normally dial Long Distance Tell the Operator you're interested in a 'LIFETIME'' Mattress Pad In 31 |