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Show The Salt Lake Tribune OPINION Friday, May 26,1995 A31 Wet Commencement, Exposed Wedding MARY MCGRORY pai Ss : UNIVERSAL PRESS SYNDICAT! WASHINGTON— Itis so early in the graduation-wedding season that you may think it impossible that we have already peaked. Yet the evidence in two reputable papers, The Washington Post and The New York Times, details two events hard to top. One was of a commencement that never began; the other, a marriage ceremony where nobody paid anyattention to clothes because there weren't any to speakof. In Washington, the commencement for 3,000-plus graduates was washed outon theEllipse by a Gotterdammerung-style storm. Apparently the people who run George Washington University do not believe in the five-day forecast: They had no foul-weather backup. There may have been something childlike and almost appealing abouttheir faith in fine weather — whatis Mayfor,if not fine days? But the parents andrelatives, with their videos cocked, were not amused, They were dispatched back to the campus, where they milled around angrily for hours. A cutrate program washeld, attended by 400 of the 20,000 who had secrimped and saved and worked two jobs to send the graduate to college andshelled out big bucks for Sheepskin Day. Some of the students said they didn’t feel graduated. Whentheygo forthe job interview, they don’t have to present the diploma or recount the sad day they were supposed to walk across the stage to collect it and wave to Mom. And they were spared the usual graduation guff. But the graduates have elected to feel put upon, and it may be several months before they decide that nature’s thunder-andlightning overture beats “Pomp and Circumstance” every time. And the day itself can be a lesson, better than a commencement speech. Perhaps the organizers weretrying to encouragean attitude of optimism amongthe students and urging them to take a flier every now and then. The out- come drawsthe moral: You take a chance, and sometimes you lose. In its way, it was a powerful anti-gambling message: It’s not just in Las Vegas that you canlose your shirt or end up having it plastered to your body while your mortarboard decants cascades of water down your neck. The wedding recounted in The New York Times last Sundayis a little harderto classify as a learning experience, although it does give a little perspective on wedding apparel. A Manhattan fashion designer named Susanne Bartsch ended her fashion show with her own wedding. She mayhavelookedlike a beekeeper in her hive of white net veiling, with diagonal lines through it, and she certainly cannotbe said to be overdressed: She wore only a flesh-colored body suit. She was, however, outdone by the bridegroom, who wasclad only in a leather G-string. The bridesmaids had their faces wrapped in white veiling, and lookedasif they had just emerged from RamsesII’s sons’ tombs recently unearthed in Egypt. The mummiescarriedcallalilies. The only concession to convention was the attire of the couple’s 14-month-old son, who wore a tiny swallow-tail coat of the cut bridegroomsonce wore. The naked bridegroom had a perfectly good reason for dressing down: He owns a gym and isa body builder. How vulgar he would have been to emblazon the fact on a T-shirt. Guests could see for themselves in his rippling muscles that David Barton is an Arnold Schwarzenegger waiting to happen. Unfortunately, the Times photographer croppedoffthe bridegroom's feet, so we do not know what the proper shoeis to wear with nothing.It’s only important if he has started a trend and we are in for a long summerof naked bridegrooms, which could lead to an upswingin public lewdness, a downswing in the wedding-garment-renting business, and would surely prompt a speech by House Speaker NewtGingrich, who will blame the Democrats. On the other hand, we may be seeing the beginning of the new commercialization of the wedding, which can be such a bankrupting experience. Whatif enterprising promoters, through NEWSDAY mostoften occurs. People 30 and under account for 70 percent of arrests for assault, for 80 percent of arrests for car theft. Now, as fewer male teen-agers NEW YORK — In 1973, the USS. birth rate sank to its lowest levelin history, following a rapid rise during the 1940s and 1950s, the seedbed of what are now known as the baby boomers. Exactly 20 yearslater, in 1993, with diminishing numbers of young males reaching their most crime-prone years, the U.S. vio- lent crime rate began declining from historically elevated levels during the 1980s. In 1994, the FBI reported this week, violent crime fell another 4 percent. People whocontinueto froth at the mouth about crime and permissiveness, who demand Draconian sentencing and more executions and blame lawlessness on liberal judges, are bleating into the wind if they don’t understand two things. One is that crimeis declining broadly, despite polls that continue to show people think otherwise. The other is that the nation hasn't been through a crime wave so muchasit has experienced a demographically inevitable bulge in the age group in which crime are comingonline to do their mischief, more and more boomers from the peak years — 1946 through 1961 — have aged into the flabby harmlessness of their middle years, not to threaten the nation again until the next century, when they will swell the Social Security population to its seams and make everybody nuts by driving too slowly. And in a few years, no matter how many people are fried or incarcerated, the crime rate will stop declining. This will reflect a slight recovery, which began in 1977 after the abnormally low birth rates that persisted from 1973 to 1976. Looking back on the nation’s experience with crime and the baby boomers, perhaps the most striking lesson is howlittle the crime rate seemed to be affected by the rate at which people were put in jail. In 1970, when President Nixon was making “law and order” the motto of an administration thatitself had the highest crimerate of any presidency, the United States was incarcerating (iS os as ESAT Pena Mend hill : ‘Family Contract’ Is Really an Agenda arrangements with the strapped bridal couple, offered to rent space on various membersof the wedding party? This particular couple offers few, if any, prospects for display, butin othercircles there are acres of satin and lace to which tasteful organza ad could beattached. “We did the limo, Barney's Parts — ourslasttill death do us part.” Or how about a streamerfluttering from thering-bearer’spillow: “Glitz diamonds: Check hers, we guarantee forever.” It is worth noting that one of the guests carried a handbag shaped like a house. Rent the roof for real estate ads. Ivana Trump,another guest, would know whatto do. As presidential politics picks up, so will chances for bumper stickers on bridesmaids’ bustles for rally-type nuptials. It could put participants in a class with other couples who havetied the knot on Ferris wheels, skis and sky-diving platforms. For the significance-seeker, a waterlogged commencement and a full-disclosure wedding are about the same thing as an old truth: Life is a throw of the dice. Crime Results from Population Size ROBERT RENO Teas ase An] 96 out of every 100,000 Americans. The incarceration rate doubled by 1983 andtripled by 1989, when it exceeded thatof every other nation in the world. But not until 1993 did violent crimerates begin their decline, for largely demographic reasons. The sad thing is that an awful lot of Americans havebeenfrightened for their lives duringa period when the danger of losing them violently did notrise nearly as fast as the public level of hysteria. When Nixon resigned, the murderrate was 9.8 per 100,000 Americans. Atits peak in 1980, the murder rate reached 10.2. This meant that out of 100,000 people, only 0.4 moregot bumpedoff. Now the murderrate is below whatit was under Nixon, and peoplearestill scared to go outat night. And while we’re blaming crime on the young,especially the urban young, a whole new category of lawlessness has entered the nation’s consciousness. Will the rural Christian militias, with their awesome firepower, fertilizer sources and large numbers of over-30 paranoid males, be the Willie Hortonsof the '90s? FELICIA MASON NEWPORT NEWSDAILY PRESS NEWPORT NEWS,Va. — This is shaping upto be theyear of the contract. Led by House Speaker Newt Gingrich, Republicans launched their 10-point Contract With America and proclaimed victory 100 days later. Never mind the fact that many of the contract's items were blown outof the water. Never mind the fact that when dissected, some of the points didn’t makesense. What people rememberis the bold rhetoric declaring that the GOP was going to set America right again. Well, now that we’ve had a few weekstolet that bluster die away, there’s yet another contract to contend with. This one comes from one of the newest — andif you believe the PR, the fastestgrowing — political action lobby groups in the country, the Christian Coalition. Whenthe coalition’s executive director announced the Contract With the American Family last week, he said: “These are 10 sug- gestions. They’re not the 10 Commandments.”Let’s be grateful, at least, for that, because the 10 sug- gestions come with some pretty powerful political overtones. Like the GOP’s Contract with America, the Contract With the American Family is laced with ents’ rights, restrictions on por- mainstream agendato strengthen families and restore commonsense values.” The contract, Reed nography — but lurking under- said, wasn't aimed just toward neath it all is the same old story. Christians or to those in a certain political partybut to all people of all faiths. Maybethat’s whyfast and furious came “they don’t speak for me’ sentiments from Methodist, Baptist, Presbyterian, Jewish, surface promises that sound good — family rights and values, par- An agenda. The coalition would have everyone believe that the 10 points in its Contract With the American Family are embracedbyail rightthinking, rational people with good, Christian values and a love of country. Don’t believe the hype. For the Christian Coalition, it’s an agendato get moreof its members and/or those who strongly support its aims elected to Congress and eventually residing at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue. It’s an agenda backed up by the $1 million sprinkled about in support of the GOP’s Contract With America. It’s an agenda that speaks not so much to so-called “mainstream America,” as to politieal power with heavy-handed religious overtones. If you have a problem with that, reference the First Amendmentof the U.S. Constitution. There is nothing wrong with having an agenda. What's wrong is the dogmatic conclusion thatif you don’t buy in you are antiAmerica, anti-family, anti-Christian. In announcing the Coalition’s platform — oops, sorry — its Contract With the American Family, Executive Director Ralph Reed said the contract is ‘a bold and Episcopal and other religious groups across the country. The Christian Coalition claims more than 1.5 million members. There are more than 257 million people in the United States. The coalition has a long wayto go before it can claim a majority, let alone be mainstream. The diverse cultures, religious freedoms andpolitical opinions of this nation are what makes. it great. The attempt, be it from a political party, a lobby group or some otherspecial interest group, to make everyone conform to one agendais dangerous. Oneof the problemswith society today is that people can’t simply agreeto disagree. Thereis the unhealthy reasoning that if your thoughts and goals are not lockstep with mine, you have a problem. Well, I take exception to that. If you disagree, that’s OK. Just don’t label me as anti-American or anti-Christian because I don’t buy into this contract any moré than I boughtinto the first one. Sale SPECIALS GENERAL TELEPHONE “Nec Sport DIGITAL PAGERS i] ae @ 8 numbered memory @ Time stamped © Call reminder ® Assorted colors 1 YEAR FACTORY WARRANTY Large Display Screen for Ease of Reading Messages ® Available in Assorted Colors ime Stamp @ Variable Musical Alert Tones @ 16 Number © Programmable @ Time Stamp ® Call Reminder @ Pri jority Message. Lox ck n/Off *1 YEAR ADVANCE SERVICE PAYMENT REQUIRED Activation Fee PHONE: 533-1111 1171 South West Temple Sood while supply Insts of througl June 30, 1395 HOURS: MONDAY-FRIDAY 8 AM - 5 PM Now,It’s Making Laws With Tall Tales MOLLY IVINS J CREATORS SYNDICATE AUSTIN — In this nation, we now havean entire industry dedicated to telling untrue stories about the horrors of government The pharmaceutical companies are supporting a whole array of foundations — the Washington Legal Foundation, the Progress and Freedom Foundation, the Competitive Enterprise Institute and Citizens for a Sound Economy — that trash the U.S, Food and Drug Administration. The National Rifle Association has spentyears attacking the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearmsin incendiary language. Timber, mining and ranching interests are giving money to “property-rights" groups all over the country and spreading ludicrous tales about innocent property owners forced into bankruptcy or sentto jail over petty violations of laws preserving wetlands or_endangered species or wates-qualit Se y: For many yea) erously pouring have bee paign to condollags-tfito th people that the tort system -¥ a ' is out of control. Their stories are famousfor half-truths, Almost everyone has by now heard the story of the lady who spilled a cup of McDonald's coffee on her lap and sued. Imagine! Someidiotic jury gives this fool 3 million bucks because she doesn’t have enoughsense notto spill her coffee. Not exactly. The woman suffered severe second- and thirddegree burns, spenteight days in the hospital and underwent skin grafts. Shetried to settle her case against McDonald's for $20,000, her total medical bill, but the company refused. ‘The jury foundagainst the company because, in addition to the facts in this case, it turned out that McDonald's has more than 700 other claims pending by people who had also suffered painful burns — but the company still had no intention of reducing the high temperature ofits coffee Manyof the absurd anti-regulatory stories have been picked up by Republican members of Congress and repeated in all their half-baked glory on the floor of the House of Representatives. There seems to be no end to the gullibility of right-wing Republicans and talk-show hosts when it comes to government horror stories, During the House debate on regulatory reform, Rep. Dave McIntosh of Indiana solemnly recounted a story about how the Occupational Safety and Health Ad- ministration has mandated that all buckets be madewith a hole in the bottom so little kids won't drownin them. Thatstory is just flat untrue Citizens for Sensible Safeguardsis a coalition of 230 publicinterest groups (these are the ones that don't have a financial stake in public policy). The coalition has issued a report called “Myths and Consequences,” detailing the full facts in 25 popular horror stories that have been cited by members of Congress. From thealleged case of pineapple pesticide testing in Ohio to the hole-in-the-bucket fairy tale, the report explains how these stories distort the truth, tell only part of the story or are just made up out of whole cloth, Meantime, those of us who are interested in real cases of bad government find our cups run- neth over. Quite aside from the 8-Foot Dining Set question of whether the Republi- can agendais good or bad public policyare the problems presented by the fact that the Republicans just don't know how to write laws. Not only haven't they had to do it much for 40 years — butalso,in their ideological zeal when they took over Congress,they fired the staff members who do know how to write laws, Now, the Lawof Unintended Consequences is catching up with them. What the Republicans intend to do is, in my opinion, bad enough, but what they are doing through accident, arrogance and stupidity is even worse, ¢ is Ourdouble pedestaltable is handcrafted from solid oak and features adjustable table levelers, equalizing wood slides and locking mechanism. Expands to seat 8 to 10 with two 18”leaves, One leaf stores inside the table, The chairs are cleanstyled country bowbacks withsix tapered paddles for comfort and 10 year warranty. $999 | Regular $1,199 Salt Lake * 272-4110 * 4716 Highland Drive STORE HOURS at 10-6 PM Sandy * 566-0761 * 9224 South 700 East Fri Open Late Ogden * 399-3928 * 4066 Riverdale Road TE ne Se % ATS~ oP ot SUE ‘ f |
