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Show My Favorite Jokes by Tim Conway Tim Conway was bom Tom Conway in Willoughby , Ohio , and says he still looks the way he looked then bald, fat EDITOR'S NOTE: and cherubif. He has had a fast rise in show business: from staff member of a Cleveland television station to guest, then regular on The Steve Allen Show; featured role on the McHale's Navy television series: title role in Rango; and now The Tim Conway Show. Conway has also done movies based on McHale's Navy and made guest appearances on Hollywood Palace and the Carol Burnett, john Gary, Red Skelton, Danny Kaye and Dean Martin shows. He and his wife, Mary Anne, were married in 1961 and have a daughter and four sons. at the Conway is a diligent rambling family home in Tarzana, Calif., working on such projects as wall paneling, wallpapering and furniture refinishing. He also plays golf and spends much of his spare time writing scripts for comedy sketches. Herewith some of his favorite jokes: Show me a man in Las Vegas who can lose $1000, get up from the table and laugh and I'll show you a shill! The definition of a loser: If he ever bought a pumpkin patch, they'd cancel Halloween. was just made honorary mayor of my hometown. My job is fixing honorary parking tickets. I never saw the movie "I Am Curious (Yellow)." I was more yellow than curious. I The reason politicians always stand on their record is to keep the public from examining it. has just been announced that National Procrastination Week has been postponed for It ten days! They say there is a lot of divorce in Hollywood. I guess it's true because there's a shop on Sunset Boulevard that rents wedding rings. know a fella who had a phone put in his Edsel, and all he can get is calls from Packards. A dewy, radiant complexion is a reward which can be won by every woman who conscientiously gives her skin the benefits of a rich, vitalizing cream each night of her life. The precious hours between sleeping and waking are particularly conducive to skin beautification, and it is during this time that a generous blend of moist oils and enriching unguents can work best to pro- tect against wrinkle-drynes- s and bring a splendid, blossoming loveliness to your complexion. gunman with a sense of values held up a supermarket. He ignored the money in the When Olay Vitalizing Night Cream is swirled over your skin with gentle massage movements, it begins at once to stimulate the dermic flow of blood and lymph, encourages the efficient discarding of spent tissue cells, and helps in every way to bring freshness, suppleness and smoothness to till and just loaded up on groceries. your complexion. Nightly Another definition of a loser: He crabgrass on the lawn of life. A I Enrich Your Skin to Greater Beauty is the massage with the balanced, vitalizing cream, which has as its base the unique Olay moist oil, also sponsors the maintenance of muscle tone and firmness and aids in delaying signs of ageing. Everyone is wrinkle-pron- e after the age of twenty-fivCold breezes that contract the skin and hot sunrays have a devastating habit of drying away precious surface skin e. oils, but the real dermic drought begins with the natural tendency of the skin to g produce less of the wrinkle-preventin- oils and moisture as it grows older. A parched skin desperately needs the soothing, enriching constituents you lavish on it each night, and the vital blend of beautifying elements contained in Olay Vitalizing Night Cream makes a tre- mendous contribution to- wards the softness, smoothness and radiant vitality of your complexion. Massage the satin-smoonight cream from the base of your throat to the forehead with upward and outward moulding strokes. Take extra care to tap the Olay Vitalizing Cream lightly into the delicate tissues surrounding your eyes, working from the outer to the inner corners and over the th lids. Special ways to bring added Loveliness to Your Complexion Protect against wrinkle-drynes- s and sagging muscles caused by a lack of natural protective mis and diminishing muscle tone by treating your chinline to a regular massage treatment with vitalizing cream. Before retiring massage Olay Night Cream well into your chinline, moving front the cleft in the chin along the jawline to the ears. Stimulation and toning of the tissues by massage will help to keep your chinline firm, smooth and supple. Nightly cherishing is essential to the neck if it is to receive its full share of admiration for smooth, firm lines and a lovely, milky splendor. Hold your fingers flat together and circle rich Olay Vitalizing Night Cream gently into the skin, starting at the base of the throat and working systematically upwards . The balanced, vitalizing Olay cream lavishes precious beauty oils and fluids on this ultradry area, helping to discourage wrinkles and promoting an exquisite texture and bloom. |