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Show Politics, Russians, educators top best worst To offset Davis County's Inversion Inver-sion Woes, Cyclops offers the first 1992 installment of the Best and' Worst from our area: '--&Cfi Cyclops by Brian Gray j on his steak. ("It was a business meeting and non-profit hospitals don't pay sales tax.") BEST LINE BY A UTAH LEGISLATOR-Sen. Rob Bishop, a Cyclops favorite, said he would vote for the release of the John F. Kennedy assassination files but only if Geraldo Rivera was present for the opening. WORST MEDICAL NEWS--Obstetrician Dr. John C. Nelson testified at a State Office of Education Edu-cation hearing that birth control pills are being sold for $50 per pill at high school proms. ("Some lads believe they can take one pill on prom night to avoid pregnancy.") BEST IMPERSONATION OF DON QUIXOTE-The persistent former Davis County commissioner Dub Lawrence is running as an independent in-dependent against Congress Jim Hansen. BEST QUOTE FROM AN EDUCATOR-When asked if parents were becoming more involved in-volved in their children's education, Davis County language arts supervisor super-visor Veloy Richards quipped, "If parents are showing up at schools, it's only to pick their child up early for a dental appointment." BEST EXAMPLE OF GOVERNMENT WASTE-Speaking WASTE-Speaking at a fund raiser for U.S. Senate candidate Robert Bennett, a State Department official said, A lot of money is going down the drain through unnecessary regulations. regula-tions. Pentagon specialists must refer re-fer to 17 pages of specifications for chocolate chip cookies and 14 pages for T-shirts." BEST EXAMPLE OF AUTOMOTIVE IDIOCY-The hundreds (maybe thousands) of motorists who speed through the Davis County fog without turning on their car headlights. WORST QUOTE BY A PARENT-A Davis County teacher was told, "You can't flunk my son. He can't read. Is it fair to flunk a boy who can't know anything?" (Yes!) BEST OVERREACTION-The Davis County father who asked police to arrest his 6-year-old son for taking a package of Ding-Dong cupcakes off the kitchen counter. BEST EXAMPLE OF FIERCE LOB B YING The Utah Legislature defeated the motorcycle helmet law after a growling appearance by tatooed leather-clad Harley Davidson David-son riders. Said one legislator, "Maybe the pari-mutuel betting supporters should hire Hell's Angels next session to push their bill through." BEST EXAMPLE OF POETRY AT THE UTAH LEGISLATURE A rural tavern owner, supporting a bill to allow brown-bag g in g in small communities, read the following follow-ing poem: "Now the River Inn is crippled, and I guess we're out of luck And them poor cowboys have to drink on the road in their pick-up truck." BEST LOCAL ANSWER TO LEE IACOCCA-A Wasatch Front auto dealer sold more pricey Nissan-built Infinitis than any other dealer in the U.S. in the fourth quarter. Sales were up 500 percent in only one year. WORST GOVERNMENTAL PAY-OFFOutgoing State Corrections Correc-tions chief Gary DeLand tried to give $500 bonuses to his supervisors super-visors several days before he left office. of-fice. The answer from Centerville's Francine Giani (the governor's aide): "If Mr. DeLand wishes to give a thank-you gift, he should do so with his own money, not the tax-v payers. ' WORST POLITICAL STRATEGY--Maury Modine, a Davis County oil worker running as a candidate for the U.S. Senate, told reporters he no longer uses marijuana. mari-juana. "But then again," he said, "if someone had some really killer stuff, I might take a hit." WORST TOUR GUIDE OF THE RUSSIAN REPUBLIC The affable George Cavanaugh of Mrs. Cavanaugh's Candies. BEST EXAMPLE OF MISUSE BY NON-PROFIT HOSPITALS-An HOSPITALS-An executive from Intermountain Health Care asked a Davis County restaurant owner to delete sales tax |