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Show . U j, Transfer Student Questioned r . I? Polish Couple Married in Tub ti; By JOE SHEEKETSKI 'Vji; April 7 was a real happening in i the lives of University dorm resi-Sllclli resi-Sllclli dents. The first Issues and Ans-M Ans-M wers program was inaugurated in the Van Cott Lounge. Guest speaker speak-er was Herb Green, a Polish trans-l'e trans-l'e fer student from the University of ' Warsaw. Mr. Green was question-s question-s N ed by a panel of students from sec- ond floor B-wlng on vital issues of the day. The panel included Don Harrisski, Dale Pinovich, Steve Feldmanski, and Marsh (Swampy) 't Hendersonowiecz. Following is the text of the first Issues and Answers program. ffeti Q. Mr. Green, we understand you e4: were recently married. Tell us- evs about the ceremony. A. There isn't much to tell, really. real-ly. The wife and I were fortunate enough to have a double ring cere- kmony we were married in a bathtub. bath-tub. But I did remember to wear a clean bowling shirt. Q. Is it true that Mrs. Green is presently in Vietnam? A. Yes. She's working on our 1 new rice plantation. Q. Mr. Green, how should we Hit end the war in Vietnam? A. Glad you asked that. Drop an lib- A-bomb. You know, instant sunshine sun-shine and fried lice, sd Q. Sir, what is the most difficult & decision you have had to make ct during your college career? A. While I was a freshman at the k. University of Warsaw, I was in-H- vited to a rather formal party. I ' couldn't decide whether to wear my green sox or my red sox. jjj. Q. And what if you are invited to a formal affair while attending school in Salt Lake City at the University? Uni-versity? A. No problem. White rolled down sox are in. Q. Is it true that you once starred in a motion picture? A. Yes, that is so. I wore a long white tunic and rode a pig. Q. Really. And who were you portraying? A. Lawrence of Poland. Q. Would you comment on the Bay of Pigs fiasco? A. I'd rather not. About 28 Italian Ital-ian broads in a swimming pool is a pretty ugly sight. Q. Rumor has it that you became an accomplished pianist under the guidance of a famous Polish conductor. con-ductor. What was the first thing he taught you? A. How to move a piano. Q. You had an unfortunate experience ex-perience when you first arrived at the University. Would you care to tell us about it? A. Surely. My room in Ballifko-vich Ballifko-vich Hall was ransacked and my foldout of Bronco Nagurski was stolen. Q. That is terrible. Was any money taken? A. No. I always hide my money under a bar of soap. It lasts longer that way. Q. During finals week last quarter, quart-er, there was an unprecedented number of suicides among University Univer-sity students. How is it that no Polish students were affected. A. You can't kill yourself jumping jump-ing out of a basement window. Q. Besides playing football and being an honor student, you also have a part time job. That must be quite difficult. A. It's not so bad. The job's got a lot of class. I ride shotgun on a garbage truck. Q. Do you find any traces of discrimination dis-crimination in "Happy Valley?" A. Yeah. Governor Rampton and the stats legislature don't allow Polaks to swim in the Great Salt Lake. Q. Why is that? A. We leave a ring on the breakwater. break-water. Q. How is the census taken in Poland? Census taking in America is a very sophisticated and complex procedure. A. It's much simpler in the old country. Every third year the fire department in all the cities flood the basements. Q. You are an amazing man. Didn't you write the thinnest book in history? A. I did. It's "The History of Polish Po-lish Culture." I believe there's a copy in the Tanner Room. Q. You have established a car pool for student living off campus. Can you tell us what a Polish car pool is? A. In precise terms, it is six Po-lacks Po-lacks carrying a car to class. Q. Haven't you also designed a penthouse for Polish students? A. Yup. Those first floor apartments apart-ments are really groovy. Q. Some of the young ladies tell us you're quite a killer. What's your secret? A. I charm them with my singing on a moonlit night. Q. Great. What do you sing? A. The Beer Barrel Polka. Q. What is the name. Mr. Green. of the gang of the toughest, meanest, mean-est, biggest Polak boys in the country? coun-try? Don't they hang out in Indiana? Indi-ana? A. Yes, in South Bend to be exact. ex-act. They're called the Fighting Irish of Notre Dame. Q. Did your mother really disown dis-own you when you came to the University Uni-versity of Utah? A. She did. I wanted to play in the backfield. Q. Mr. Green, did you have an enjoyable spring vacation? A, I did. Sitting on somebody else's porch in a clean T-shirt is great Q. Are your parents as wealthy as they say? A. They are pretty rich. I was the only kid on the block with- a-sttver a-sttver lunch, pail. |
