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Show i . i Government lingo defined Government is definitely hard to follow lately. It has something to do with the language it has established for itself. If you don't believe that read a government govern-ment report sometime, or even read some of the articles in this newspaper or any other newspaper or magazine. Bruce combined the words method and mythology and gave birth to methodology. Not many people really understand the word other than it seems to have magical powers among the general populace when used by the gods or other government employees or officials. of-ficials. But I do believe it has something to do with a method based on myth. Impact: Impact is a word which has reached its height of glory since MX became a popular byword with the general citizenry. It means approximately ap-proximately the same thing as effect, and it has the same number of letters, so I really can't understand why it has tecome so popular in government conversation. Generally they only pick up on words that are longer and more complicated than the short and mild impact. Scenario: Once again, scenario is a word made not only popular, but famous, in this area by MX. Scenario has the same type of effect as any other theatrical word. It leaves people spellbound, wondering when the curtain cur-tain will drop. Unfortunately, in government it never drops. Consultant: Consultants are the ones who are consulted and who consult and then write a report which contains words like methodology, impact and scenario. They make a lot of money and produce a lot of scratch paper, but. beyond that I'm not quite sure of the definition. Mayor's, and-or president's, chairman's or head honcho's business, sometimes abbreviated misc.: This is a phrase tacked on the end of a public agenda so that the mayor, president, h head honchd or misc. can discuss things ' ' he didn't want the general citizenry to ' know about in advance. . In all fairness, of course, the phrase can also refer to the payment of bills and the reporting by the head honcho of various meetings and "public" travels. Reporters try to simplify and condense con-dense the language so that the average j layman can understand, but ometimes it becomes nearly impossible. Thus, as a symbol of my public concern, I here, today, offer a dictionary, dic-tionary, complete with definitions, of some of the more common government lingo. So, here we go. Government grant: A government grant is, of course, money given to various, usually nondescript, groups to accomplish something, but don't ask the government what. If you do, you will be handed a 200-page report explaining everything, and I do mean everything. The purpose of such grants has been the subject of much speculation recently, but the bottom line is simply this: the purpose of a government grant is to never reach a conclusion. Methodology: Methodology is a derivative of two old "Greek" words. Somewhere, long ago, the gods on Mount Olympus, in a flash of lightning. |