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Show Seen &nd Heard Main Street ' ' I Well, summer is almost ! over. I'ei-cy AVhilHetree suys t lie sutlers from the heat mere in the summer iban any other season. And pity the poor moth he spends the summer in a fur coat, and the winter in a bathing suit. .' One good thing about hot weather is that the boss hasn't enough energy to bawl you out for loafing. In Kansas, - says one midwest mid-west tourist, it is so hot the cows are giving powdered milk. ,. ANYWAY, THE NEW BATHING BATH-ING SUITS;, HAVE MADE LOVE AT . FIRST SIGHT A LITTLE MORE .REASONABLE THAN IT USED TO BE. ,, . , Friends: "Why have ypu given the . general such,, a. peculiar pose?" , tIt -.. . , Sculptor: ,"You see, .it was started as an equestrian statue, and,, then : tle; committee . found they couldn't afford the .horse." , Defiuilon f ' ,. COLLEGE BRED A four-year loaf, made from, the Flower 'of Youth ,and the Dough of old age. . Onjly an optician's daughter, btij. . ' . .'.. two glasses and she made a spectacle( of herself. . IiCiiii , Genster, the pretty cashier, cash-ier, figured she needed a vacation; vaca-tion; the men patrons were beginning be-ginning to count her change. ' BLONDES' They were 'invented 'invent-ed to' prevent, married life run-, run-, riing 'tod smoothly! ' ' ... A - And1 everybody ' but'' the finance company' believes the. automobile has come to-' 'stay. "Hear about the Scotchman who went .insane?" j "No, what was the matter?" "He bought a score card at the ball game and neither team scored." , If Roosevelt wants to get re-elected he had better keep Farley out of a bathing suit. "IJttle girl, have , you been eating onions?" "Sure. Do you think I smell tliis way all the time. New Typist (following rapid-fire rapid-fire : dictation) : "Now, Mr. Bent-ley, Bent-ley, what did you say between 'Dear Sir' and 'Yours Truly?" A LITTLE MOONLIGHT NOW AND THEN WILL MARRY OFF THE BEST OF MEN. Definiton OPTIMIST One who works cross-word puzzles with a fountain foun-tain pen. There always arc two sides to every question, Dad Guni-mit Guni-mit has noted the silly selfish self-ish side and your side. There also are two sides to a piece of flypaper, but it makes a big difference to the fly which side he picks. Has the lavish spending of federal funds primed the pump, or is it flooding the carburetor, asks Dad Gummti. Definition j ' CAMPAIGN MANAGER The l one to make the dirty cracks,1 that his candidate is too dignified digni-fied to make. Two colored gentlemen who had just reduced the population of : farmer's hen-roost, were making a get-away. ldiws, Mosc, gasped Sam, "why you 'spose them flies follow us so close?" "Keep gallopin', nigger," Mose replied, "them ain't flies. Them's bitcUshot." No man's opinion is entirely worthless . . . even a wrist watch that doesn't rua aj" twice a day. au s ris. The government j, in its soldiers at j 'nttb-first 'nttb-first when they g0 .. l lit(v second, when they stanT"'4' their bonus money. SK POLITICAlTpLATCn. declaration of -, jectives, expressed so as . t: the maximum of e,'" the minimum of si statement made bv ?'r ' ' ' with loose memories 'tnr tion by voters wll0 more, than the hwdlne, K page unless it has m,m ' |