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Show NeverTell A Woman She's Wonderful Unless You Can Back Statement When man tells a woman that she's the most wonderful girl in the world, he shouldn't be surprised surpri-sed if she considers it no compliment compli-ment at all. She'd probably much rather hear that she has a grand sense of humor. "The greatest weakness of the current so-called compliment is in its incompleteness, its lack of formulation, for-mulation, definition,", says an article arti-cle in the September issue of Good Housekeeping magazine. "A good compliment must have a why or a how, because in the why or how is the compliment." Deploring what he calls the "decline in good compliments", the author points out that a woman's need for such is "too deep-rooted to be brushed off as mere vanity. She must have praise, and verbal praise, to reach the peak of her attractiveness," because "without it, her most sensitive qualities, which make her most unique, begin be-gin to diminish, wilt, disappear." The author defines a good compliment com-pliment as one which is "custom built, made to a woman's measure. It fits," she adds, "like Cinderella's Cinderel-la's slipper, only her. Such a com pliment in itself, because it means that someone took the trouble to discover what he really did like about her, and said exactly that." Among expressions which she considers too trite and vague to be called compliments the author lists: "You look nice"; What a pretty hat"; and "Your apartment is charming." According to the article, the same ideas would be come compliments if expressed: "You look fresh and radiant"; "That hat compliments your complexion"; com-plexion"; and "Your home has such a restful atmosphere." The compliment which relies on words rather than thoughts is also al-so no compliment, says the author. Even though it's different, she explains, ex-plains, it sounds too "show-off" and insincere She maintains that "American men are likely to jeer at what they call continental compliments, com-pliments, but adds that such a compliment is short, simple, brisk, and above all, pertinent." - Summing up, the article says: "A kind and clever man praises by repeating praise always twice as convincing (if it's true) or, if he's given any time and thought to figuring out why he likes you, loves you, or, quite simply, gets along with you, he gives you the result of his findings; and it always al-ways has an unmistakable ring of truth. And truth is the primary requisite of a good compliment." |