| Show 1 = jJHE uNNY r r 1 1 o N r W C OPULENCE IN SIGHT Well demanded the man who was having his fortune told what do you ECO You are mnrrlod paid the lady who was examining his palm Yes Hut I know that before I camo hero You have always had to fight your way ahead That Is you havo progressed pro-gressed by hard work You have never been favored much by luck Very true Still that Isnt exactly what I camo here to find out Cant you toll mo something about tho future fu-ture I Yes You aro going to live long Your life line Is very strong And here I BOO something very Important something that will encourage you Your salary Is going to bo Increased Good Thats tho kind of nows I want Youro sure of It aro you Yes You will get It before long And Is thoro anything to Indicate about how much It will bo Increased It will be much larger than it is now Let mo see Yes It will boas bo-as large as your wlfo tries to make her friends think It Is at present Ho could ask no more With a feelIng feel-Ing of courage In his breast ho handed out two dollars and went away to the triumph that awaited him Chicago ItecotdHorald Very Likely Patience hear a Chicago minister Is giving away trading stamps with each couplo ho marries PatriceI suppose a lot of women out there aro Just getting married to get tho stamps Yonkers Statesman SOAKING IN PROSPECT ANYWAY I Ii ft ti I Alf t n 4 r C d PJl Guest What Five dollars for a room here at MudhurstonthoHogs for a single night No Ill go back to New York first Hotel Proprietor But it Is raining hard Youll get wet GuestWell which Is worse go to New York and get wet or stay here and get soaked Located at Last Drummer settling bill in Eagle house Hayflold Pardon my curiosIty curios-Ity sir but what do you stuff your beds with In this hotel Y Landlord proudly Best straw to bo had In this hull county bgosh Drummer Ah That Is very interesting Inter-esting I know now whore tho straw came from that broke tho camels bacltlPuclt His Job What aro you doing now that your wife Is away Putting in all my time trying to answer her demands for moro money Detroit Freo Press KNOWLEDGE t e h l e iwv r s c Every dog has his day Yes but Its not every dog that knows when hes having ItChlcaso Journal DIFFERENT NAMES I understand said tho oldtlmo friend that you are gettln right exclusive ex-clusive Well answered Mr Cumrox tints what mother an tho girls call It What do you call It Plain lonesome Washington Star POOR FIDO 1 GeraldThis dog knows as much as I do v Goraldlnc How modest you arc Most people brag about their dogs Chicago Dally Nows Times Changes i Whlffcrs Ah How do do Well out with it old man What success You said you wero going back to your native town to hunt up your first love from whom you parted years ago the airy fairy Lillian you raved about you know Did you find her nilffers sadlYYes Shoa drawIng draw-Ing 20 a week as tho champion fat woman of a dlmo museum Now York Weekly He Deserved It I toll you said tho port young as slstant tho editor isnt in and Im not going to tell you again It you havo anything for him you can leave it with mo Very well said tho caller taking off his coat I camo in to give him a good sound thrashing but Ill give It to you instead HalfHoliday A NEW WRINKLE 4 I r y I L + LV1 fIe I Ie MyrtleGrace is a girl of ideas NatlcaYes sho put flypaper under tho sofa to catch her little brother Strangers Now There goes a man who once offered to make mo Independently rich Hut ho ddnt appear to know you At least ho gavo you no sign ot recognition recog-nition You see I refused to buy tho stock Chicago HecordHornld Waste ot Cash Mlzerly My wlfo Is afflicted with a wasting disease WIzom Wasting disease Mlzorly Yes sho has a bad case o f tho shopping habit Chicago Dally News First Aisle to the Left Teacher Johnnywhere is the Isle of Man 1 Johnny In the gents furnlsbln do partment Judge |
