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Show 1 Wig-waggod John D. Rockefeller. Hl Now, if some one would only invent a crowless rooster. The school of the prophets their suckers. To carry your lady's bathing suit without, inconvenience, put it in your vest pocket. Automobile street sprinklers would doubtless produce more riders of the Hl water wagon. Hj It appears, thouph, that Mr. Roeke- feller knows only that out of 'Standard Oil he has made much money. Beinc but thirty-eight million miles up on Saturday night, Mars was some distance this sido of beef prices. It is hinted that Utah Republicans are contemplatinp cullinp themselves by the name of Smootlercoddles. Continued increases in the bank clearings show that the rule of the hierarchs is especially pood when not in operation. Mr. Bryan says: "The President is compiling my future speeches for me." An assurance that the Nebraskan will have much to say. Secretary Taft says that his recent illness was only a stomachache, vbat a whopper! We don't mean the state-ment, state-ment, but the ache. Governor Hughes says that he does not intend to be under obligations to anybody. Which puts him out of the Presidential class entirely. Is the lying 'about city finances an-other an-other move on tho part of the Mormon high priests to escape the traps of their enemies? Perhaps' too, the Russian scientist who has discovered how to prolong life fl is exposing his secret by being now on Ins way to some other copntry. While tho prophet has come into what he considers to be his own, there are many people hereabouts who ob-jeet ob-jeet to lii b taking theirs. Roger Sullivan, it is said, has"anoth-fl has"anoth-fl or Democratic dark horse. And really it would. seem that all the Presidential candidates of the party hesitate about coming out into the limelight. Apostles should remembor that Car-rio Car-rio Nation claims also to be a servant of the Lord and pays a fine of five dollars or so every time she attempts fl to fulfill her pretended contract. New York Press: "The average wo-man wo-man can call n walk round the block a foreign tour.'' Somo married men hercabuts would be glad to learn the occult secret by means of which that impression is produced. But suppose that the only satisfac-tion satisfac-tion a taxpayor could get in the way of iL V-'Vorl was that by making inquiry at the collector's office he could find out just how much -he haJ paid? Be-ing Be-ing a mere hint to titho payers, The fact that in France a physi-cian's physi-cian's claim has precedence over all others against the estate of a deceased ' person ought to determine French doc-lora doc-lora as to the nature of prescription v.-hich will bring the quickest results. The Washington Star thinks the Cu-buns Cu-buns should assist tho United States so that when this Govornmout shall withdraw with-draw from tho island, "it would bo for good." But Cubans aro contending that that is what it would be for if ! the withdrawal were immediate. |