Show BRYAN AS A STORY TELLER He Has More Wit Than Humor and Never Employs Oaths I New York World Colonel Villiarn J Bryan can never hope to acquire fame as a hUmorfst Hs character is too seriouU for humor hu-mor yet he can tell f a funny sitory to illustrate a political point Bufc funny stories are not his forte He tell them well but he will not attempt to1 emphasize em-phasize them by using a profane word or a suggestive expression H < 3 acknowledges ac-knowledges thatan oath Aylll make a hit Ire1 some storfe huthe absolutely refuses to employ oaths1 N o womans mind is l purer ia that directions than William J Bryan fig lighter forts are more in tIll line of uit and humor His thrusts are delivered suddenly and in epigrammatic form as when he says > saysI know we can Arhip the Filipinos I here affirm wWean whip the Filipinos Spain had fhem almost whipped after fighting 30ft years and then told us an option on the light ftJr 520000000 And then again when he says HIt according to the Republicans God Is in the Philippine question why not proceed in Gods waylove anti peace GatUns > gun gospel never yet succeeded The man who receives it doesnt need Christianizing and the man who escapes will always oppose itHere Here are some of the stories he tells When the income tax bill was up they told me the rich Democrats would leave the party If it was passed I didnt think so but I found I didnt know the rich Democrats I then said the poor Republicans will be with us but I found I did not know the poor Republicans If the poor Republicans when they saw the rich Democrats coming over to their party only had the judgment of the Irishman who was driving a mule all would have been well Au this Irishman was driving along in a buggy the mule stopped looked around at him and began kicking kick-ing He kicked the harness to pieces and finally put his hind legs over the dashboard All right says Pat if you wart to come in why come In but when yez do Ill get out The Republican policy in the Philippines Philip-pines reminds me of the prayer of the old colored man It Illustrates the difference dif-ference between being on Gods side and wanting God on your side He said when he prayed to God to send him a chicken he seldom got one but when he prayed God to send him after a chicken he always got one My frlendsi the Republicans are praying God to send them after chickens They have already got the Philippine rooster Mark Hanna said In an interview that God was in the Philippine business busi-ness I dont know whether He is or not but before I believe prophets I want to see their credentials By their fruits ye shall know them says the Bible Hanna has been a successful prophet of McKinleyism He can tell tho policy of the president without consulting con-sulting him But I assure you my friends when God is in the Philippine question He will choose another mouthpiece mouth-piece than Mark Hanna Ive heard it said that President McKinley had no Philippine policy until un-til he made the Omaha trip Be resolved re-solved to feel the pulse of the people and gather public sentiment from the rear of a railroad train If he had only consulted me I could have told him how unreliable is public sentiment gathered from the rear Y f a railroad train I gathered some in 96 myself my-self The peoples attitude before the trusts reminds me of the composure of the man who was starving He finally got a loaf of bread and was just preparing pre-paring to eat it when a dog ran off with it The man didnt get mad nor did he weep He only said Thank God Ive got my appetite left That is just what the people have left |