Show DREADED MAL DE JtfEK A SALT LAKE GIRLS EXPERIENCE ON THE BRINY DEEP The Trip From San FranciSco to Portland On One of the Pacific Const Steamships You have tried every remedy suggested You have eaten a great deal and you have eaten noting You have absorbed a great deal of lime juice and you have let it alone You have carefully abstained from all greasy foods for two weeks till yesterday yes-terday when you showed a decided predilection predi-lection for roast pork You are wearing very tight clothing now according to Mrs As advice and in a short time you will be moved to adopt Mrs Bs advice and change it for very loose attire Having Hav-ing taken all these precautions my dear friend how can you possibly have an attack at-tack of maldemer But to prevent any thought of fear as our Christian Science filend says let me add to your stock of lemons Not that you will need them but simply to fortify you against even a thought of sickness With a twinkle of the eye that seemed to me diabolical the speaker presented a bag of lemons and the bow that accompanied accom-panied the gift was a mocking one I turned helplessly to the feminine contingent contin-gent that had accompanied me to the wharf and was answered by a chorus of wouldbe I reassuring remarks 0 you may not be very sick I may not last l the way I you can only get over that dreadful fear without being sick may be youll escape eS-cape and the rosycheeked bright eyed girl who had never taken an ocean trip and who had a leaning toward Christian science whispered Deny i Deny the claim I was my first sea trip and it was with anything but joyful anticipation that I surveyed my narrow quarters on the big Pacific coast steamer and when my gay companions took their leave had an unaccountable un-accountable desire to follow them I remembered the advice of a much travelled and neverseasick young lady to oung cleave to the deck even closer than the oftquoted Biblical injunction requires I determined to adopt the advice and cling to that deck as long as the fates permitted per-mitted I remembered too the advice of my rosycheeked friend deny i and I did try to deny i I looked out over the waters arid tried to think of the countless vessels that had anchored near the fast receding shores of the poetic descriptions de-scriptions egi Golden oJfte ihtJO magnificent = magnifi-cent word paintings of the sea Us illTmit ableness and its grandeur that had come down to us from the past I tried to see the fascInation its green depths held for I others but I found the only thoughts that g rn 1OIh hii i had any fascination for me and it was a terrible fascination were of how far II we were from the bar and how many of the passengers on that I pasengers 01 incoming vessel vesel had been seasick 1 tried to think the subtle rocking motion so new to me was soothing and when I found this thought had not the denying effect It ought to have I tried to conjure up rosy visions of anything everything if it were associated with land I became gradualy associate Usually I enjoy conversation particularly if I am allowed to contribute the major part of it but 1 repulsed tjje friendly over tures of the comfortable deck strollers strolers with a fierceness that would have aston ished myself if I had been on terra tlrma I had no time for social IntercOurse I was busy denying Finally the gong sounded I found I had a decided disinclination to go below I found I had no apotlte but that was owing to the fact that I had had break fast ten minutes later than usual A bril bri liant thought struck me I would Lave my meals sent up so that I might enjoy the marine view and continue to deny undisturbed But when the heretofore obliging stewardess insisted that my luncheon must be served in the stateroom state-room as there were no facilities for serv ing i on the deck she assumed a Me dusalike aspect to my reproachful gaze But I remembered the great superiority of mind over matter and went to my stateroom state-room I found the food lacked flavor and concluded it was not well cooked I sent it away and when the stewardess smiled I decided she was really th most disagreeable dis-agreeable person I had ever seen My head ached slightly probably because be-cause I had retired a little latet than usual the night before and thought it would be well to make up for the lost hour of sleep I sooth1 myself to sleep with the pleasing thought of how very solid hduses are particularly when built on a foundation of rook and thought it was very foolish to build them on sand especially es-pecially anywhere near or even within sight of the sea I awoke an hour later and heard voices outside my window and noticed that the perfume of the huge bouquet I bou-quet I had brougn on board with me was sickening I wondered that I had not noticed that disagreeable odor before I I Then I could distinguish the voices I The bar is choppy today Makes me feel a little uncertain myself Have you noticed how they are turning In one by I one I was talking with a pretty girl a little while ago She was wed and happy till the boat gave a big dip and when we came up again that rl turned pale and scudded for her state room Strikes me I youjre pale yourself Ha Ha No Im not tie He But I think the lady in this state room is sick I She wa Denial vigils on deck naps a weeks diet tight clothing availed nothing noth-ing Let me draw a veil over her sufferings suffer-ings Suffice it to say that her worst enemies I ene-mies would have been satisfied to I see the txtent of her miseries There was but one compensation r man in I the adjacent stateroom was Quite as sick and the smothered profanity that followed each upheaval of his tributes to Neptune expressed her feelings and yet spared her the responsibility l of owning that she had eI vent to such expressions expres-sions When oaths grew fainter and the upheavals less frequent she was afraid the man would die before she did and she would be without a spokesman That was her greatest grief Death had no terrors for her but she wanted some verbal relief while she lived The pursers head appeared In the window win-dow occasionally but the only answer to his question Are we all supplied was a groan His stories of the small representation at the tables afforded a little human satisfaction The cabin boy and the stewardess appeared occasionally I occasIonaly I with a bowl of cracked ice and one of I the passengers was heard to inquire just J how a burial at sea was conducted The 1 of the few tramp remaining passengers I who were to be seen on deck had a funereal I fu-nereal sound and tears of self pity welled to the eyes of some of the sufferers as they realized how small their funeral cortege would be Fortyeight hours of such a state of mind another crossing the bar which was rougher than the one Tennyson describes de-scribes and something like calm comes I to the minds and stomachs of the voyagers voy-agers A dim hope comes that their demise de-mise has been indefinitely postponed They are conscious of something like hunger They Iind hat when ey are seated at the table there is mOre than the usual fastidiousness as to choice ot food but they are able to eat and enjoy en-joy the tid bits When they return to the deck they are reluctant to eqter the stateroom that was once such a haven of refuge I seems to them now a torture chamber They find they do not walk with their usual strength and grace but they take pride In learning that lesson les-son of infancy They grow communicative communica-tive and the snubs of two days before are forgiven and forgotten Astounding appetites are shown at the next meal The beauties of the river scenery are descanted upon There are handkerchief flirtations with the denizens of the shores There is a tinge of color in cheeks that had been ghastly before By the time the destination of that shipload ship-load of sufferers is reached they are the cheeriest handsomest heartiest set of people to be seen anywhere When they have walked the gangplank and been greeted by enthusiastic and inquisitive friends they are ready to say O we had a lovely trip Seasick Not very And my erstwhile sick neighbor said with a forcible expression used merely to punctuate his sentence Seasick Not abit |