Show THE ARIZONA KICKER Not Much Money In It but a Good Deal of Honor rWe extract the following Items from ths lASt issue of The Arizona Kicker ANOTHER CurWa desire to announce to the readersof The Kicker that we have made another cut iu the price of bar soap and for the next two Iveeks shall offer six bars for a I quartet This is one barahead of anything I yet offered west of Chicago and while it brings the profits way down to zero we expect ex-pect to reap some littls honor from our enterprise enter-prise The grocery which we run in connection connec-tion with The Kicker is coming rapidly to the front and it is only a question of a few weeks when it will stand at the head Our goods are freshwarranted full weight and prices lower than anywhere else HE WAS CORRECT There was considerable consider-able astonishment exhibited by our people the other day when the governor of Arizona shook hands with us iu front of the post office and we have noticed a considerable change iu the demeanor of certain people towards to-wards us ever since The governor was correct cor-rect We are no clam shell bidden in the drifts and ho appreciates the fact He knows and respects the power of tbe press He knows that a great paper like The Kicker Kick-er having behind it but under one and the same roof a grocery feed store butcher shop harness shop crockery store and gents furnishings must wield a mighty influence for good The people in this burg who have been looking upon us as a one mule power had better bet-ter get thiir eyes open Cache Ill rmIThl suit of the Widow Gililiupamst tu for reioh l of prcmiivo urn ages IVMK mine up tu court list Friday Till Milt wa instituted six months ago by i the rimit Uouxe ring which hit sought our downfall ver mm < the llrst issue or this paper pa-per That u I they put the widow up to sue us and have advanced the money as it was needed needWhen When the widow was put on the stand she testified that on the night of Feb 31 1J > S7 we asked her to marry us She insisted that the date was correct and that nothing could change her mind about it We then exhibited tit records of the jail to prove that on that day nod night and on all next day and next night we were a prisoner having as some of our readers may remember departed from the line of virtue and gone on a bender This exhibit knocked the widow out in the first round and confounded her supporters and we dont believe they will tackle us again after that fashion As for the widow she was only a cats paw and we have sent to her house a basket of groceries a clothesline a Mt of cups and saucers and a sack of flour to prove that we hare no malice IT WILL BE VERY QUIET Our city election elec-tion which takes place next Tuesday will be a very quiet one and the singular spectacle of two tickets almost without candidates will he l presented As iKrth tickets were made up of ring candidates we felt it our dutv to publish as far as we could secure it a histori of each Our biographies included thirtwn out of the sixteen candidates and the p bli iation was only three days old when IT st of them were bunting other localities They averaged all the way from murderers down to barn burners and we ore not likely to be troubled with them again What is left of the two tickets is fairly clean and honest We are sorry we had to interfere and thus place the parties in such a queer fix but we felt it a duty we owed to the public I A WASTE or MONEY Some person who has a grievance against The Kicker left an infernal machine on our doorstep one night last week It ta a starch box filled with giant powder and two pounds of bullets and was so Dinged as to explode when the cover was lifted Wo took it in and started to open it supposing some modest admirer had left us a box of fruit or confectionery but on second thought concluded to soak it for awhile a-while This action saved our life Not only that but it prevented the destruction of our jsstittiolsilshloM mn cr nnnr nu 1 V ing property We have made every effort to trace the fiend who put up this job but so far without success Wo realize that there are many men in this community who hanker for our life but wo hope to disappoint them If they feel that they must have it why not fire buckshot into our bedroom window ambush us at night or pick a quarrel on the street This plotting to scatter our bloody fragments frag-ments over our large and excellent stock of groceries is both unkind and unreasonable DIJDIn this city Oct 281SS3 Pete Shu maker aged 54 years 8 months and 14 days Pete was the individual who attacked us on the 2Ut in pont of the postofilco with a cavalry cav-alry saber being offended at mi editorial criticizing the policy of the czar of Russia toward Turkey We let daylight into him in four places and we paid his doctor bill and funeral expenses He sleeps well He is better off Death loves a shining mark Eastern papers please copyDetroit Free Press |