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Show fftl.Phillipr W IMAGINARY CONVERSATIONS Honorable Japanese and Honorable Ancestor Jap Honorable ancestor, whav goes on? Ancestor It's got me puzzled, too. Jap I always understood we were master race. Ancestor So did I. Could we both be wrong? Jap That's what I was wondering! wonder-ing! Ancestor Will honorable descendant descend-ant kindly give complete picture to honorable ancestor? Jap Don't be nervous. Ancestor If you can be nervous why can't I? Jap I am not nervous. Ancestor Come now, you can at least be on the level with an ancestor. ances-tor. Jap I want you to feel Just as confident about Japanese supremacy as I am. Ancestor (with a grimace) That's what startles me. Jap Everything's going my way. Ancestor That's just a line from Oklahoma. You know better, don't you? Jap What Oklahoma, the play or the ship? Ancestor Both! Jap I know better, but I had hoped you didn't Ancestor Sometimes I think I get a better picture of the whole war lituation from the grave than you get from where you are. Jap I'm thinking seriously ol Joining you, just to prove you're right. Ancestor Whatever happened to that-Japanese peace in the American Amer-ican White House? Jap You aren't going to hold me to that, are you, grandpappy? Ancestor Honorable descendant should tell honorable ancestor when he is just kidding. ' Jap We are doing fine. The American soldier doesn't know how to fight. The American sailor Is a joke. The American airman Is no match for the Japanese airman. You know that, dn't you? Ancestor Of course I do. You know it and I know it, but do the Americans know it? Jap Do you want an answer to that last question? Ancestor No. I just got It. Jap How? Ancestor I heard about those Fa- clfio Islands. Jap That's a lot of Truk! Ancestor Honorable ancestor must respectfully urge honorable descendant de-scendant that honorable prestige la at stake. 'Jap You're telling me! Ancestor Honorable ancestor begins be-gins to fear he placed too much faith in honorable descendant. Jap And honorable descendant has same fear the other way around. Ancestor Who started this supei race idea, anyhow, you or I? Jap You did. Ancestor Nothing of the kind. It's all your idea. Jap Nonsense. It comes down from you. Ancestor It's entirely your theory. the-ory. (This goes on Indefinitely. It ends In a tie.) Congress now talks of an Income tax system under which all the burdensome bur-densome business of filling out a crossword puzzle will be eliminated. But the number of publio accountants account-ants and tax experts thrown out ol work will create the greatest un employment crisis the country has ever known. Fritz Kreisler, who has always spurned the radio, has at last surrendered sur-rendered and will go on the air soon. Radio has been trying to get him for years but he has just been fiddling around. ... We can't understand why some radio dance music program doesn't call itself "Syncopation Please." Radio Commentators Here's to Vandercook (Johnny) His deep views are never In hock; His stuff he intones In the very same tones My preacher directs to his flock. Ray Grimm Swing Explains each thing With skill and force . . . But why that horse? Old Gabe Heater Makes life sweeter Unless yon don't share nis concern for your hair. Can You Remember- Away back when: Bartenders asked. "Do you want Rye OR Scotch?" Butchers played pinochle only at night? Tho noise of coal delivery Jarred your nerves? Railroad blackboards used little chalk? Yon made a gift of a shoe that pinched? Taxis raced for hack-stand posi-tlons? posi-tlons? " ' brought heat? |