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Show It's About Time My New Summer Outfit MmhMMimtwm I) Me By VICKIE MATHESON One nice thing about buying milk is that you arc always guaranteed that it will be fresh. This is because be-cause people who make milk put a little expiration date on the lid, and by checking it you know exactly how long it will last. I like this guarantee that comes with cheese, milk, crackers, jelly, vitamins and cereal. cere-al. Now if only the new summer outfit I bought came with an expiration date, then I would be happy. IUVMYj ARE few things worse than making an investment in a new skirt, dress or hat only to find out the next week that the style has expired. I think all designers should put an expiration date on their garments right next to the washing instructions. Beauticians should also be required to advise their customers about expiration dates. After you invest the money and time in a short hair cut and perm you should have some sort of guarantee thai the models in the next issue of Glamour Magazine will not be seen in long, straight hair. THERE ARE several other things I wish carried an expiration date. Like automobiles. I'll bet if you were looking for a new car and saw the expiration date stamped on the hood you might think twice about keeping your old car. I also wish car dealers would be just as accommodating as the grocer when it comes to taking back merchandise that has soured before the expiration date. Think what a merry Christmas you would have it all your kid's toys came with a guaranteed expiration date. No broken toys before the Christmas dinner was served. I wish that pens, cassette tapes and light bulbs all came with expiration dates. It would even be a good idea if words had them. I would hate to write this column using words like great and exceptional excep-tional only to find out that by the time the column was printed those words weren't groovy anymore. (Sec, didn't groovy sound expired'.') BEST SELLING books should have an expiration date printed on the inside jacket right next to the price. It is very frustrating to read a best seller for the purpose of social conversation only to show up at a party and discover that everyone is discussing an even more recent title. Somethings shouldn't have expiration dates, however; coupons, credit cards and driver's licenses. I clip coupons every week from the Sunday paper, but by the time I remember to take them with me to the store they have usually expired. And no one should have to face the store clerk with 3(H) dollars worth of goods only to find out your credit card isn't good anymore. And who can remember how far you should be following a car in (he rain after dusk on your way up a hill if one tail light is niissing-or niissing-or any other question they ask once your drivers license has expired? |