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Show Turkeys Make A. 'Fowl' Feast By JERRY SORENSEN Frankie thought a turkey was about the ugliest, dumbest bird imaginable. His father raised turkeys and they had little heads with beady eyes and warty red waddles that made them look as if their throats had been cut. Their feathers were as stiff as por-cupine quills and just as useless because they couldn't fly worth a hoot. When startled, and somethimes for no apparent reason at all, they would gobble hysterically and stampede just like a herd of cattle, raising a tremendous smelly cloud of dust and feathers. Well, he said to himself, he could put up with the smell and the dust and even their ugliness, but eating them ws where he drew the line. "Come on dear," his mother would say. "Have some Thanksgiving turkey. Everybody likes turkey on Thanksgiving." "Except me," Frankie would grump and would not touch a bite. He'd just sit there impatiently until somebody passed the roast beef, glad there was a choice so he didn't have to eat the "dead turkey," as he called it. He had to admit to himself that it did look good and smell good and when his father carved the big, steaming bolden brown bird, he was tempted. Expecially the white meat looked inviting, great flaky wedges sliced deftly by his father's honed carving knife and served up with cheerful goodwill and a happy smile by his spritely mother. Frankie had often thought that Thanksgiving must surely be her day because she seemed always so grateful and content with everything she had and did. She tolerated even Frankie's shenanigans with good humor. His father, on the other hand, was stern and not to be taken for granted, ever. At such times as he noticed Frankie's reluctance to eat turkey, we would cast a baleful glance in his direction, with the clear meaning that there better be a good reason for such behavior. Frankie's father always reckoned that food his mother prepared, definitely, was good enough for anybody and Frankie was no exception. This meaning was not lost on Frankie and he would hastily help himself to a piece of turkey with no intention of eating it. In fact, he would shuffle it around on his plate, pretending to eat it, but in the end would manage to hide it amongst the remainder of the copious Thanksgiving dinner that always seemed more bountiful than anyone could possibly eat. This subterfuge worked pretty well until the Thanksgiving when Frankie's father suggested that this was the year for Frankie to help select and prepare the turkey for the annual Thanksgiving feast. The in-tent, of course, was to teach Frankie the useful skills of killing and dressing the bird for Thanksgiving dinner. "You pick out a bird and catch it," Father said to Frankie," and with that, he handed the boy a stout cat-ching pole with a hook on the end shaped to catch and hold a turkey's leg. Frankie took the pole and ten-tatively approached the large herd of turkeys. It seemed to him that every would be fine. That big one right in front of you." The bird his father had chosen was a monster and it immediately led the herd in another resounding chorus of gobbling. Frankie was sweating profusely by this time and knew that if he did not act at once he would not have the courage to act at all. He lunged with the catching pole and missed and lunged again and caught the big one's right leg. The giant bird exploded in a furious cloud of feathers and dust in an effort to get away. Frankie heard his father laugh with great gusto and hung on for dear life. It was a nip and tuck struggle, for the bird would dig in with his great claws and drag Frankie and then Frankie would get his heels dug in and drag the bird, whose great wings churned up thick clouds of dust and Frankie thought for certain he would have to let him go. All the while Frankie could hear his father laughing as he had never heard him laugh before and he knew that he must not give up. The great turkey somehow sensed that and almost suddenly surrendered his valient struggle. "Good for you," his father called with enthusiasm. "Good work. That's a job well done." Frankie almost burst with pride as he dragged the big old gobbler back to his father. He grinned from ear to ear and his father grinned right back. That Thanksgiving, Father sat Frankie to his right and Frankie was feeling pleased as punch. His mother beamed at him and Frankie beamed back. It was sure enough her day again, thought Frankie, for she hummed a happy tune as she loaded the table with delicious white mountain of whinC Snov A heaping tray 0f sES Wal ham, a great shimmering jellp, oven browned steaming with a aroma a mouth giant pan 0f gravy, loaves of hot hi T' bread and a host of t)T vegetables. 'rest And then his father turkey - an elegantly bS large enough lo feed a small A murmer of appreciati' from Frankie's broihers 3nH a aunts and and assorted reta'l shortly make . shambl f in tune with the grand ar0S! filled the air and he w? grateful when his father ina toned, "Amen." Father's first move was , large piece of breast and placet Frankie's plate. The boy looked a : father and his father winked smiled a friendly smile Frankie quickly sliced a portio-fro- the serving and popped a his mouth, chewing gingerly J then his face broke into a broad It was delicious and Frankie -- awfully glad he liked it. His moiC smiled happily and his father gavel-- approving glance before going with his carving. It was the signal to "dig in" and dig j did, with a clamor that for the reminded Frankie of a her of gobbling turkeys. glittering beady eye of the hundreds before him was staring defiantly back at him and no matter how he tried, he couldn't settle on a single one. Sen-sing, however, that it was a job he musldo, he lunged at a medium-size- d bird which deftly sidestepped to escape the hook, and in a warbling, ear splitting chorus, every last bird gobbled loudly. It stopped Frankie in his trans and he peered pensively at his father, who was leaning against the pickup truck, apparently enjoying the thus-fa- r uneven contest. With a hint of a smile, he gestured to Frankie to proceed with his assignment. With new determination, Frankie again approached the sea of great speckled birds and tried his best to pick out a single turkey that seemed catchabie; but no matter on which one he focused, itlooked back at him with such intensity that Frankie would drop his gaze. "Let's get on with it," Father said with obvious impatience. "That one Continued From Front Fcfge Continued from Front Page Feds Listen to Alternate Water Plan different than the way we are going." But he says that since current plans fulfill the original purpose of the appropriation - delivery of water to Salt Lake and Utah counties - the Bureau feels justified in proceding with the aqueducts. "It's kind of a technicality, I gUK; whether it is or isn't," says Jt Franson. "We feel like it is, money has been appropriated t Congress." positive. "They have agreed with about four items," he said, adding that Reclamation's projected price of concrete, more than 80 percent of the total cost, has not yet been deter-mined. "Of course that's the major one," said Mr. Powell. The concrete figures should be available by mid week. Mr. Powell said he believes the box culvert probably can be built at less cost than the two aqueducts, but he has adopted a wait-and-se- e attitude; along with other members of the Agency, he will be scrutinizing the government estimates. The savings, along with other advantages inherent in the idea, makes his option worth the two-ye- ar wait to begin con-struction. Other benefits of the box culvert include but are not limited to: of the need to use the Olmstead pipeline as the primary feeder. "The Bureau of Reclamation does not really like using the Olm-stead pipe," says Jess Green, American Fork councilman in charge of water matters. "It's off its foun-dation in many places. In some places it's just hanging. It does not appear that it is safe." He said one fear is that a collapse would cut off the Salt Lake area from water they depend on. "The proposal we've got eliminates that problem by taking most of it through the Murdock Canal and only incidental water out of the Olmstead pipe," he said. power plant would produce more energy in the long run. "With the two pipelines," says Mr. Franson, "the power plant would not be able to operate during summer months." When Salt Lake County is using all water available, the plant could operate only in the winter, he said. "With the box culvert concept, the plant would be able to operate a greater percentage of the summer because water would be going through the turbines and into the box culvert rather than into an aqueduct," said Mr. Franson. Water for aqueducts would be diverted about a half mile above the power plant and would not be available there. Also, several cities are interested in acquisition of the Olmstead plant for municipal power. -- Provo River Water Users Associaton, current operator of the Murdock Canal, would get delivery of all its entitlement - the box culvert would eliminate evaporation and seepage losses that reduce end-lin- e volume in Salt Lake County. At the same time, the Salt Lake County Water Conservancy District could take delivery on the same amount of water that would have come in aqueducts. --Elimination of new right of way acquisitions innorthern Utah County; removal of the potential danger of a ruptured high-pressu- re pipeline, a fear expressed by Pleasant Grove Mayor Cornell Haynie; and the en-closure of the Murdock Canal, long considered by local residents to be a dangerous nuisance. Mr. Franson said that if the cities and the Water Conservancy District want a box culvert, Reclamation is willing to go along - provided the comparative costs are favorable; right now, the "estimates show the costs about the same." "It has to be acceptable to the people who are using it," he said. "But sometimes it is hard to separate what is really an engineering decision and what the District prefers to do. " He said the decision to go with the box culvert alternative over the pressurized aqueducts is between the cities of north Utah County and the Central Utah Water Conservancy District. According to Lorin Powell, the northern cities have made a proposal several times to the Water District. So far, he says, they have elicited only negative responses. "The first three or four times they didn't understand it. They didn't even try to un-derstand," he said. "Then they thought they could run over us." "They've come back negative several times," he continued, "but we just keep hammering at them and showing where it is positive. Bureau of Reclamation corroboration would put pressure on the Water Con-servancy District, the canal company and everybody else. Then the burden would be on them to prove why it can't be done. "When we have the technical things out of the way, it comes down to philosophical questions - and I don't think they can knock it on philosophical grounds. They've tried, but. so far they haven't been suc-cessful," said Mr. Powell. A source in the Timpanogos Planning and Water Management Agency who asked not to be identified said that if Reclamation agrees the box alternative is workable, the reaction of the Water Conservancy District is the key factor. "If the Central Utah Water Con-servancy District wants to oppose the idea in the face of figures showing the desirability of the box, then there could be a real political battle," the source said, adding that Robert Hilbert, general manager of the Salt Lake County Water Conservancy District, "could well be one of the biggest thorns in the side of the cities." Mr. Hilbert is serving simultaneously on the board of the Central Utah Water Conservancy District. The Timpanogos Agency admits that opting for the box culvert would result in a delay of about two years, whereas construction on the aqueducts could begin next summer. But according to the Agency source, "It wouldn't hurt anyone to delay a little bit. I question whether they have a dire need for that water im-mediately. I've been told by certain insiders that if they gave Hilbert that water now he wouldn't know what to do with it." According to Mayor Christiansen, "If we can show that the Bureau of Reclamation feels good about our proposal, I think the District will be hard pressed to buck some of the information we can put out on it. I don't see how they would be able to stand up there and make a decision not to go with the project when it can be clearly demonstrated that it is the best way to go and that everybody's needs can be met. Mr. Franson reaffirmed the position of the Bureau, saying that it looks at itself "as not making the decision tochange." "That would have to be the District's decision in cooperation with the Timpanogos group," he said. But Mr. Franson admitted that the plan has already changed from Reclamation's original 1964 plan. Under the original design, the Murdock Canal was to be lined and fenced; because of several road-blocks, however, the plan was changed to include the aqueducts. "After years of negotiation with the Provo River Water Users Association, we were unable to work out the agreements to share the canal space," said Mr. Franson. "Some other concerns came up about water quality with an open canal. They couldn't get assurances from the State Health Department that they could continue to use an open canal . for municipal water. "Another concern was that the Central Utah Water Conservancy District wanted flexibility to operate the pipeline to meet the needs of the people who were paying for it." By ; far the greatest amount of CUP water will be sold in the Salt Lake area. At the Denver meeting last week, Reclamation officials told Tim- - , panogos Agency representatives that . the box culvert is essentially the same plan that was in the original Bon- - - neville Unit plans, according to Jess Green. "What we are proposing is an enlargement and reconstruction of ; the Murdock Canal," said Mr. Green, j "That was in the original plan - the I Jordan and Alpine aqueducts were j' not, from my understanding, and they ; have never been accepted by Congress for funding, nor has it ever '. gone to the people for a vote . ' ' ' "What we are talking about is a ! deviation from the original plans - and this C.U.P.. plan is strictly self-- j serving for Salt Lake County and '; nobody else," said Mr. Green. "The : Jordan unit has nothing to do with ; taking care of the canal and the needs across the north end of the county." Mr. Franson admitted that the original authorization "was a litle bit Watch Your Language By DON NORTON Assistant Professor of English Brigham Young University STRUCTURES A grammatical structure that appears to be very Mormon, at least Western U.S., is the common greeting at Mormon meetings: "we'd like lo welcome you all out." One of the westernisms Mormon missionaries export to all parts of the English speaking world is "You bet ! " Mormons are also prone to use a lot of formalisms, archaisms, and biblical expressions: "He to whom you have just listened ..." "We should all be baptized, even by immersion." "not a more ... save it be ... each and every one. . ." Brethren is standard, rather than brothers. Mormons are among the very few Christians who still use the respect pronouns thou, thee, thy, thine in prayers - but that usage becomes more and more shakey, as the decades pass. VOCABULARY Certain words are strictly Mormon coinages: telestial, Mormon, (formerly a Mormon sympathizer) ; and other Book of Mormon vocabulary - Lamanite, Jaradite, Promised Land. Only in Utah is a Jew a gentile. The term ward, once a political unit (in Nauvoo, I understand), now describes the basic ecclesiastical unit. It is not scriptural. By contrast, ; stake is biblical, but not its specialized Mormon use. The abandoned (we hope) term stake house (now stake center) certainly caused a lot of confusion among meal-expectin- g investigators. Mormons have mainly given specialized meaning to hundreds (perhaps thousands ) of ordinary English words : testimony 4 Zion (also common among other early religious settlers in America) magnify recommend sticks (for scriptures) R.M. (for returned missionary - with often a negative connotation) general authority correlation saint standard works The list could go on and on. 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