OCR Text |
Show ury?" asked the teacher of a small1 ' girl pupil. "It's when the cat gets Into the pantry pan-try and laps the cream off the milk," was the unexpected reply. Chicago News. Waiting Their Turn. "Did you folks down In DingTille nt-ff llaliy' comet this tpriug?" auks the Ti6ltor. "Nope," replies the native. "W never get any of those big shows until after they've, played a year In New York. Judge. The National Game. "Going to hare a patriotic Fourth In Plunkvllle?" "We are that. We propose to read the Declaration of Independence, and announce the various baseball scores between paragraphs." Kansas City Journal. No Skirts There. "Show me a man wbo isn't always skulking behind a woman's skirts," demanded the militant suffragette. " How about the fellow who sing In the chorus?" Inquired a coarse brute In the rer of the hall. Kansas City Journal. Ad m ration. "You are admiring my library?" said the collector. "Yes," replied Mr. Cumrox. "A big library always commands my admiration admira-tion and Interest. It U an evidence of the patience and skill ct the American Ameri-can book agent" Washington Star. The Poor Senator. "Ever had 'cm strew flowers In your path as you returned home. Senator?" "Naw. rm satisfied not to hare 'era strew banana peelings." Plttuburg Post. JUST FOR FUN I "By th powers, it's bor-rn lucky I am." "Phy do y' think so?" "I was hit be a automobile Just as I was startln' f'r th shop this morn-Jn morn-Jn It made me sthagger, an' a cop plnchod me for bein' dhrunk. I wor licked in a flgbt, an' later I wor blow-ed blow-ed fifty feet high he a premachoor blast When I came home Dugan's goat butted me Into th' house, an' the ould woman wor layln for me wid a rollln pin." "An In th name av th' saints, do yez call that lucky?" "Sure. Ain't I alive this mornln'?" Cleveland Leader. Amending the Declaration. "How old are you, Uncle Amos?" "Jis a hundud, boss." "A hundred years old?" "Yes, nuh." "Do you remember any of the great men who were alive when you were a boy?" "Yes, suh; I done seen Gln'l Jawge Washlnt'n many a time when I wuz a pickaninny." "But, Uncle Amos. George Washington Wash-ington died 110 years ago." "Dat so, IIosb? Den I's about a hundred an' fo'teen yeahs old, suh," Chicago Tribune. Own Up Now. Eleanor, aged 6, bad been going to school only a few weeks. She had learned to raise ter hand If she wanted want-ed anything. One day she put this Into effect when she wm sent to the chicken house to get the eggs. Just as she reached the chicken house door her mother heard her say, "All you chickens that have laid an egg, raise your hands." Delineator. "Break, Break, Braak," They were sitting on the beach and he had ben strangely silent. "I wonder what makes tho ea waves sad?" paid Cholly, languidly. "Probably the borrowing thought of going broke on the beach!" giggled Dolly, Insinuatingly. A Graphic Instance. "What is meant by the lap of lui- |